Today I'm here for a special purpose..its the 4th of February today...a special day coz 18 years back someone really special was born on this day...One of God's most purest soul and a very special child stepped into this world...I know all of you must be thinking that it is very obvious of bloggers to use big ...ornamented words and off course when its some one's birthdays we actually use flowery expressions....praise them...give them wishes..just to tell them how much we appreciate them....but today if I write any big word it will be an understatement for this sweet adorable kid[okie fine...she hates it when i call her adorable...coz she thinks she is not n her translation of it is yes I'm adore-able...that is i am capable of adoring things:)]...For me she is an angel...I call her my Smily that's coz she gives me a reason to my smile everyday with her presence....I met her online on the 16th of January 2009...I call her my birthday gift that God sent me last year...i just received it one day later...and I actually believe it coz she truly is a blessing...I will not deny that I have been really fortunate to have some really beautiful souls around me...But honestly till date I haven't come across...such a wonderful...loving...affectionate...sensitive...honest...selfless..simple and humble person....she radiates warmth and goodness....God has blessed her with a golden heart ...sometimes I feel she is just too good for this insensitive world...it worries me the most...that's when I tell her that sometimes you should think n care for urslf also...and she will instantly say-I don't know how to do that....muje nai ata....and that's when i sit back in amazement and pray that God please keep her surrounded by people who are worthy of her....When I say all of this that doesn't mean this bucha is very seedha saadha....ahmmm..at times she is extremely naughty too....we share this wonderful association ...she calls me her teacher...and trust me I'm so proud to have her as a student...:p...it sounds a bit crazy..but we actually have these classes of life when we come online ...n I guess nobody better than us knows what a lovely association we have...its different...beyond friendship ..onto a different pedestal of sharing and understanding...we share our secrets..we talk nonsense...we discuss philosophies of life...just from everything to anything...and the prime reason for this comfortable bonding is that we think alike...the only difference is I'm still learning to be good human being from her...and off course how can I forget to mention my smily is a power house of talent...she writes amazingly well...effortlessly..its like her feelings flow with her words...with no conscious attempt...she paints beautifully...her paintings have meaning...they express thoughts that are not just perfectly portrayed but have meanings that have the depths of life... It sounds surprising right....that how can one person be blessed with so many qualities...that's the reason I call her"special"...my "special offer"...and today my special offer turns 18.....ahhmm..yes yes she is extremely elated with the idea of being a "major"...and is expecting a nice adulthood treatment today but sorry baby no luck...coz as i said earlier turn 18 or turn 50 u will always be that adorable kid for me....so no freedom from lectures and scoldings.....u will have to bear them throughout your life.... As for today I really want to "thank you" for coming into my life....for being such a wonderful companinion..friend...student...sister...kid to me...you always make me feel lucky and proud...You really mean a lot to me and I'm so thankful that we met in this journey of life.....and I really hope and pray that may God fill your life with endless number of smiles just the way you have filled mine... may all your dreams and wishes come true and may u always be surrounded by people who know how to value you coz u r one in a million...
wish u a veryyyyyyyy veryyyyyyyyyyyy happy birthday sweetheart.... have a blast ....coz its a very special occasion since today we celebrate the gift of"you"to the world....so aj no tears...only smiles....stick to the meaning of the name i have given you Smily and keep smiling always.... luv ya loads...God bless you baby!
TRUST
To place faith in someone whom you feel is worthy of it Responsible enough to handle it with care Understands that he/she has been relied upon by someone
Sensitive to feelings and emotions The core of relationships.
[P.S:-okie this one is my first miserable attempt at an acrostic...and now I realize how bad I'm at it...honestly acrostics are easier to appreciate than to write...so hats off to all you guys who are masters at it especially Leo,Artz,Nuchu and Rosh...I'm sorry if I'm forgetting any names...but really you guys are wonderful...I will learn and pick up some inspiration from you people and will try and come up with something better next time...]
I'm sick and tired of explaining myself all through
I'm yearning to be understood by people I expect to
I'm paying a price of being myself each day
I'm fed up of seeking acceptance for whatever I say
I don't need any "I understand" statements from people who don't
I don't expect people to be by my side when i know they wont
I know I still have to learn to be strong
I know I can do it when I chose the right over wrong
[p.s....I know this post is meaningless....I'm sorry for such a stupid vent out...its just that its not such a perfect day...please excuse me for this one...and thanks a ton for bearing my non sense yet again...]
Hellooooo Everyone...... How are you???? I really hope you still remember me......ahmmm....actually I know need to be thrashed for being absent from your blogs...for not reading for not commenting....for not wishing you new year and Christmas..for not replying to the comments...for not completing the never ending story that i have started...for missing on to Rosh's n Nuchu's blog anniversaries..God...just look at me..so many things for which i need to apologise ....not a good note to start the year with....but I'm not to be blamed..i had to suddenly go out of town to attend some family function in Delhi...just came back two days back n realised that how much I have missed on to.....hmmmm...loads of pending work..which I will surely complete really soon..kindly bear with this slow worker...plzzzzz.... okie now first things first wish you all a very Happy New Year...Hope 2010 fill your lives with loads of prosperity,happiness,love,good luck and peace and may it also give you the strength to sick to your new year resolutions if you have made any..as for me...my new year resolution is to prioritise the right people at the right time because this is something I always keep trying but go off track here and there disturbing my own peace of mind...so will try to keep a check on this...and second is to love all my people as much as I can and even express it through every opportunity that I get....so let me start off right now only...so I want to say.."I love you all...thanks for being such wonderful support systems in this journey of life...and making me feel that there are people who care to listen and understand not because they are forced to but because they are beautiful souls...so a big heartfelt thank you to each one of you..."..2009 was extremely special for me because I got to know all you wonderful people n I sincerely pray that in the coming years this bond just becomes stronger and stronger. and yes before I forget....my heartiest congratulations to Roshu and Nuchu on the occasion of their blog anniversaries...well done sweethearts...hope you celebrate many such anniversaries so that we can enjoy reading your lovely posts endlessly....keep it up girls...you rock!! and Artz...i guess i have missed your birthday as well...sooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyy....wish u a very happy belated birthday....may God fulfill all your dreams and wishes and may you get the best of life dear.... Guess I'm pretty much done for now....plzzzz kindly excuse me for missing all the action here...I will try to be active and yes once again a big thank uuuuuuuuuuuuuu to all of you for visiting my blog even in my absence...you guys rock!!!!!!thanks a lot! this is for you all you special people....
Rahul hesitantly walked towards Neha's room...as he stepped in he saw Neha sitting next to the window..with her eyes fixed outside....She was aware of Rahul's presence...but she did not show any reaction.For a while Rahul just kept looking at her...inside feeling guilty then softly he said.."Neha...."....Neha did not respond to her name either she was motion less...."mm...Hiee...."..he said....she still dint reply...after which he slowly walked towards her and went n sat right in front of her....Neha still dint look at him...Rahul looked at her and said,"how are you doing?"...Neha started looking down wards....with this Rahul took her hand into his..which Neha tried to withdrew..but Rahul did not allow....then comforting her he said....."Neha...what is wrong with you?see what you have done to to yourself....my sunshine is becoming dull n I hate that!Listen I know I'm the one responsible for everything so I cant possibly question or complain but then why are you punishing yourself???...probably because you know this would hurt me more than anything...but please love...don't do this ..do whatever u want to do to me but don't be harsh on your self...I cant bear that...I'm sorry for being selfish...I'm sorry for taking you and your love for granted...I'm sorry for not being there for you...please give me another chance and I will change everything to the way you want...I love you ..I really do.....please come back to me...we will start everything a new...please come back!"Hearing Rahul speak Neha became weak....her tear drops fell on the back of Rahul's hand...she quickly withdrew her hand...got up instantly and wiping her tears moved away....Rahul got up as well...n before he could say anything further Neha turned towards him and said"come back??????for what....?to make up endless calls that will never be received????to wait late at night at the dining table...and sleep there till you ring the door bell at 2:00 a:m..??to keep yearning for a compliment or a word of love from you or just to get noticed??to live with my pain alone????to be a guardian of your house?to accompany you for official dinners????tell me for what???????????and if a sorry settles everything then fine ..even I'm sorry...you may leave now ...thanks for taking out your precious time to see me...but you don't need to bother in future...I'm fine and i shall manage"..saying this Neha took a step forward...Rahul held her hand and stopped her and said..."Neha...you are right...maybe you don't have a reason to trust me anymore...and probably there is nothing that I can say right now which would get u back into my life..but all I am asking from you is one last chance...if not as a husband...just as a friend...pleaseee....give me one last opportunity...don't take my life away from me...i really love you...."..as he said this tears flowed out of his eyes and seeing his moist eyes Neha broke down as well!She started crying her heart out and surrendered herself in Rahul's arms..Rahul held her close to himself ..and both of them became oblivious of the situation and held each other tight as their pain flowed out of their eyes.In a while...when Neha got stable stable...she instantly moved away from Rahul in an uneasy manner...and sat down on the couch....Rahul went down on his knees before her looked into her eyes and said.."Neha i understand what you are going through...I understand your pain.,your fears,your insecurity...I understand everything...I really do...and trust me I am not here to force anything on you...you don't want to come back with me right now...its okie....but please allow me to see you regularly for a while....lets meet...like we used to meet earlier...along with that lets also seek some medical help as your health is deteriorating day by day...and i can't see that....lets start everything all over again....just give it one last try for my sake...for the sake of our love....if within these few days also you feel that all my promises are fake....then you may take your decision and I promise to accept it without bothering you anymore....I will take you home the day you will ask me to...when you happily and willingly want to come back....till then it will be nothing more than an apartment where I will live in the isolation, and will bear that pain of loneliness that I made you go through even in my presence....pleaseee....believe me one last time...I wont disappoint you and you wont regret this ..I promise...pleasee..."saying this Rahul bowed his head before her....Neha got up and moved ahead....and then said.."its late Rahul I think you should leave..."....her words pierced through Rahul's heart..He got up in despair ..with his head down as he took the first step forward...Neha said"I will see you tomorrow morning at 11...."Rahul was overjoyed to hear Neha's words...he literally jumped....saying"yes!!thank God!!thank you so much Neha...thanks a lot.....I really....I mean thank you....I cant begin to tell you how....thanks a lot love..."...he kissed her hand in excitement....and then realising that this is not the right time for any further reactions....he quickly settled himself....thanked Neha once again...and wishing her good night...left.....Next morning the alarm clock rings at 8........[to be continued..]
Have you ever sat down before someone and gave endless explanations for a decision you made....or a step you took or for something that you have done...I guess we all have..We go on and on explaining our situation,our circumstances ,our reasons to somebody...and if you stop for a while and reflect who is that somebody...definitely has to be someone close to you...may be your partner,your best friend,your sibling,your family...someone whose judgement matters to you because we don't worry about what strangers and unimportant people say or think of us...our world is centered around our own people...whose judgements and opinions are a matter of our concern and to an extent it is right also.. we are all answerable to our people for whatever we do...so giving explanations shouldn't be a problem...but there are also times when in this process of clarifying things and making others understand...we end up being hurt and shattered....now when does that happen?????That happens when we don't get the support,understanding and confidence we are seeking from the other person...that is when sharing becomes a pain,when communication creates a gap,when a circumstance becomes an excuse and a reason becomes a fake justification..That's when we feel alone....we get frustrated...we come up with statements like"nobody understands us"...We keep holding on to that and stay in misery...but why don't we give up...??why don't we understand that if after repeated efforts we cant get across to someone...or instead of understanding all we attract is fake sympathy...then why do we keep trying and expecting....?why can't we accept the fact that not everybody thinks like us....?or why is it so important to convince others that we were right in our place..if we know we are right...if we can answer God...n face ourselves then why are we so entangled in making others believe in us....if they know us well...we don't need to tell them the when and why of everything..they are capable of reading our silence also and if they don't know us well....then we can just go on n on to no effect and end up feeling all the more alone!I'm not saying that don't clarify....when its needed.. or don't communicate assuming that if others know you well...you don't need put your feelings into words....what i mean is....clarify to a person who is worthy of your explanations...who undersatnds...he/she might not identify with what you did...but at least will try to step into your shoes and view things from your angle...and most important give explanations up to a certain limit..beyond that...if u keep explaining or proving yourself...you are just inviting disappointment!And last but not the least if u expect then learn to accept also...accept the fact that we are not all the same...we think differently...we respond differently...its easier to sympathise than to empathise ...that's why we often say that"only a person going through it...knows how it feels"...so then why jump to conclusions...why not listen...why not understand..why adopt short cuts and label people in a second...If we want that others understand us...feel our pain...then why not try to do that ourselves...and another very common belief that we all hold is that if someone is over explaining things...he/she must be wrong or guilty...why...cant we interpret his/her effort as a means to sort out things...but we generally don't do that ...we as humans are lazy...we use the lenses formed by others to view the world and sees everybody as the same...and never walk that extra mile to actually broaden our perspective...once we learn to do that...i guarantee there will be less sufferings and misunderstandings....n sharing will actually strengthen bonds...!think about it!
Hieee everyone...how are you????Well I am finally back...to eat your heads after a long examination break...yup...finally my exams are over!yeppieee....what a relief!My exams were just fine...n now its holiday time...so you will have to bear me quite often now...n more than anything else i know i have been missing on to a lot here...so i will quickly update myself...with all the action that's been happening around....and before I forget I want to say a big "Thank You" for all your best wishes for my exams...i really needed them ...so thankss a ton!!
And another thing that I want to say is that i actually missed this place n all of you people like anything...and it feels great to be back...to read ...to write...to share...the feeling is amazing!Thank you all...while you drop in comments do let me know whats happening at your end n how have you been...coz its been a long time since I have been out of touch....so please update me..!
Take care!
Keep writing!
God bless!
wish u a veryyyyyyyy veryyyyyyyyyyyy happy birthday sweetheart.... have a blast ....coz its a very special occasion since today we celebrate the gift of"you"to the world....so aj no tears...only smiles....stick to the meaning of the name i have given you Smily and keep smiling always.... luv ya loads...God bless you baby!
