When Explain & Pain Go Hand In Hand!

Have you ever sat down before someone and gave endless explanations for a decision you made....or a step you took or for something that you have done...I guess we all have..We go on and on explaining our situation,our circumstances ,our reasons to somebody...and if you stop for a while and reflect who is that somebody...definitely has to be someone close to you...may be your partner,your best friend,your sibling,your family...someone whose judgement matters to you because we don't worry about what strangers and unimportant people say or think of us...our world is centered around our own people...whose judgements and opinions are a matter of our concern and to an extent it is right also.. we are all answerable to our people for whatever we do...so giving explanations shouldn't be a problem...but there are also times when in this process of clarifying things and making others understand...we end up being hurt and shattered....now when does that happen?????That happens when we don't get the support,understanding and confidence we are seeking from the other person...that is when sharing becomes a pain,when communication creates a gap,when a circumstance becomes an excuse and a reason becomes a fake justification..That's when we feel alone....we get frustrated...we come up with statements like"nobody understands us"...



We keep holding on to that and stay in misery...but why don't we give up...??why don't we understand that if after repeated efforts we cant get across to someone...or instead of understanding all we attract is fake sympathy...then why do we keep trying and expecting....?
why can't we accept the fact that not everybody thinks like us....?or why is it so important to convince others that we were right in our place..if we know we are right...if we can answer God...n face ourselves then why are we so entangled in making others believe in us....if they know us well...we don't need to tell them the when and why of everything..they are capable of reading our silence also and if they don't know us well....then we can just go on n on to no effect and end up feeling all the more alone!



I'm not saying that don't clarify....when its needed.. or don't communicate assuming that if others know you well...you don't need put your feelings into words....what i mean is....clarify to a person who is worthy of your explanations...who undersatnds...he/she might not identify with what you did...but at least will try to step into your shoes and view things from your angle...and most important give explanations up to a certain limit..beyond that...if u keep explaining or proving yourself...you are just inviting disappointment!


And last but not the least if u expect then learn to accept also...accept the fact that we are not all the same...we think differently...we respond differently...its easier to sympathise than to empathise ...that's why we often say that"only a person going through it...knows how it feels"...so then why jump to conclusions...why not listen...why not understand..why adopt short cuts and label people in a second...If we want that others understand us...feel our pain...then why not try to do that ourselves...and another very common belief that we all hold is that if someone is over explaining things...he/she must be wrong or guilty...why...cant we interpret his/her effort as a means to sort out things...but we generally don't do that ...we as humans are lazy...we use the lenses formed by others to view the world and sees everybody as the same...and never walk that extra mile to actually broaden our perspective...once we learn to do that...i guarantee there will be less sufferings and misunderstandings....n sharing will actually strengthen bonds...!think about it!