Sunday, December 27, 2009

In Search of the past days-9

Rahul hesitantly walked towards Neha's room...as he stepped in he saw Neha sitting next to the window..with her eyes fixed outside....She was aware of Rahul's presence...but she did not show any reaction.For a while Rahul just kept looking at her...inside feeling guilty then softly he said.."Neha...."....Neha did not respond to her name either she was motion less...."mm...Hiee...."..he said....she still dint reply...after which he slowly walked towards her and went n sat right in front of her....Neha still dint look at him...

Rahul looked at her and said,"how are you doing?"...Neha started looking down wards....with this Rahul took her hand into his..which Neha tried to withdrew..but Rahul did not allow....then comforting her he said....."Neha...what is wrong with you?see what you have done to to yourself....my sunshine is becoming dull n I hate that!Listen I know I'm the one responsible for everything so I cant possibly question or complain but then why are you punishing yourself???...probably because you know this would hurt me more than anything...but please love...don't do this ..do whatever u want to do to me but don't be harsh on your self...I cant bear that...I'm sorry for being selfish...I'm sorry for taking you and your love for granted...I'm sorry for not being there for you...please give me another chance and I will change everything to the way you want...I love you ..I really do.....please come back to me...we will start everything a new...please come back!"

Hearing Rahul speak Neha became weak....her tear drops fell on the back of Rahul's hand...she quickly withdrew her hand...got up instantly and wiping her tears moved away....Rahul got up as well...n before he could say anything further Neha turned towards him and said"come back??????for what....?to make up endless calls that will never be received????to wait late at night at the dining table...and sleep there till you ring the door bell at 2:00 a:m..??to keep yearning for a compliment or a word of love from you or just to get noticed??to live with my pain alone????to be a guardian of your house?to accompany you for official dinners????tell me for what???????????
and if a sorry settles everything then fine ..even I'm sorry...you may leave now ...thanks for taking out your precious time to see me...but you don't need to bother in future...I'm fine and i shall manage"..saying this Neha took a step forward...Rahul held her hand and stopped her and said..."Neha...you are right...maybe you don't have a reason to trust me anymore...and probably there is nothing that I can say right now which would get u back into my life..but all I am asking from you is one last chance...if not as a husband...just as a friend...pleaseee....give me one last opportunity...don't take my life away from me...i really love you...."..as he said this tears flowed out of his eyes and seeing his moist eyes Neha broke down as well!


She started crying her heart out and surrendered herself in Rahul's arms..Rahul held her close to himself ..and both of them became oblivious of the situation and held each other tight as their pain flowed out of their eyes.
In a while...when Neha got stable stable...she instantly moved away from Rahul in an uneasy manner...and sat down on the couch....Rahul went down on his knees before her looked into her eyes and said.."Neha i understand what you are going through...I understand your pain.,your fears,your insecurity...I understand everything...I really do...and trust me I am not here to force anything on you...you don't want to come back with me right now...its okie....but please allow me to see you regularly for a while....lets meet...like we used to meet earlier...along with that lets also seek some medical help as your health is deteriorating day by day...and i can't see that....lets start everything all over again....just give it one last try for my sake...for the sake of our love....if within these few days also you feel that all my promises are fake....then you may take your decision and I promise to accept it without bothering you anymore....I will take you home the day you will ask me to...when you happily and willingly want to come back....till then it will be nothing more than an apartment where I will live in the isolation, and will bear that pain of loneliness that I made you go through even in my presence....pleaseee....believe me one last time...I wont disappoint you and you wont regret this ..I promise...pleasee..."saying this Rahul bowed his head before her....
Neha got up and moved ahead....and then said.."its late Rahul I think you should leave..."....her words pierced through Rahul's heart..He got up in despair ..with his head down as he took the first step forward...Neha said"I will see you tomorrow morning at 11...."Rahul was overjoyed to hear Neha's words...he literally jumped....saying"yes!!thank God!!thank you so much Neha...thanks a lot.....I really....I mean thank you....I cant begin to tell you how....thanks a lot love..."...he kissed her hand in excitement....and then realising that this is not the right time for any further reactions....he quickly settled himself....thanked Neha once again...and wishing her good night...left.....

Next morning the alarm clock rings at 8........

[to be continued..]

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

When Explain & Pain Go Hand In Hand!

Have you ever sat down before someone and gave endless explanations for a decision you made....or a step you took or for something that you have done...I guess we all have..We go on and on explaining our situation,our circumstances ,our reasons to somebody...and if you stop for a while and reflect who is that somebody...definitely has to be someone close to you...may be your partner,your best friend,your sibling,your family...someone whose judgement matters to you because we don't worry about what strangers and unimportant people say or think of us...our world is centered around our own people...whose judgements and opinions are a matter of our concern and to an extent it is right also.. we are all answerable to our people for whatever we do...so giving explanations shouldn't be a problem...but there are also times when in this process of clarifying things and making others understand...we end up being hurt and shattered....now when does that happen?????That happens when we don't get the support,understanding and confidence we are seeking from the other person...that is when sharing becomes a pain,when communication creates a gap,when a circumstance becomes an excuse and a reason becomes a fake justification..That's when we feel alone....we get frustrated...we come up with statements like"nobody understands us"...



We keep holding on to that and stay in misery...but why don't we give up...??why don't we understand that if after repeated efforts we cant get across to someone...or instead of understanding all we attract is fake sympathy...then why do we keep trying and expecting....?
why can't we accept the fact that not everybody thinks like us....?or why is it so important to convince others that we were right in our place..if we know we are right...if we can answer God...n face ourselves then why are we so entangled in making others believe in us....if they know us well...we don't need to tell them the when and why of everything..they are capable of reading our silence also and if they don't know us well....then we can just go on n on to no effect and end up feeling all the more alone!



I'm not saying that don't clarify....when its needed.. or don't communicate assuming that if others know you well...you don't need put your feelings into words....what i mean is....clarify to a person who is worthy of your explanations...who undersatnds...he/she might not identify with what you did...but at least will try to step into your shoes and view things from your angle...and most important give explanations up to a certain limit..beyond that...if u keep explaining or proving yourself...you are just inviting disappointment!


And last but not the least if u expect then learn to accept also...accept the fact that we are not all the same...we think differently...we respond differently...its easier to sympathise than to empathise ...that's why we often say that"only a person going through it...knows how it feels"...so then why jump to conclusions...why not listen...why not understand..why adopt short cuts and label people in a second...If we want that others understand us...feel our pain...then why not try to do that ourselves...and another very common belief that we all hold is that if someone is over explaining things...he/she must be wrong or guilty...why...cant we interpret his/her effort as a means to sort out things...but we generally don't do that ...we as humans are lazy...we use the lenses formed by others to view the world and sees everybody as the same...and never walk that extra mile to actually broaden our perspective...once we learn to do that...i guarantee there will be less sufferings and misunderstandings....n sharing will actually strengthen bonds...!think about it!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

I'm B@ck!!

Hieee everyone...
how are you????

Well I am finally back...to eat your heads after a long examination break...yup...finally my exams are over!yeppieee....what a relief!
My exams were just fine...n now its holiday time...so you will have to bear me quite often now...n more than anything else i know i have been missing on to a lot here...so i will quickly update myself...with all the action that's been happening around....and before I forget I want to say a big "Thank You" for all your best wishes for my exams...i really needed them ...so thankss a ton!!


And another thing that I want to say is that i actually missed this place n all of you people like anything...and it feels great to be back...to read ...to write...to share...the feeling is amazing!

Thank you all...while you drop in comments do let me know whats happening at your end n how have you been...coz its been a long time since I have been out of touch....so please update me..!


Take care!

Keep writing!

God bless!

Monday, November 23, 2009

H@ppy birthday Stibu Mama

hieee friends...how r u all??????...
no no...my exams r not over yet....still have two more to go...I am here just for a small surprise visit..because today is the 24th..an extremely special day...u know y...coz it was on this day many years back my best friend stepped into this world...yupp...u guessed it right...today is stibu mama's birthday...yes...our Solitary writer turns 22 today...the angry young man gets another year older...hahaha....[stibumama don't kill me for this now]...but jokes apart wish u a veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy happy birthday!




Today I just want to thank God for the gift of a wonderful person like u as a friend...n not just me..but i can surely say it on behalf of all those people who know u that we are all blessed to have you as a part of our lives ..someone who is so warm,caring,understanding,helpful,supportive,kind,encouraging....see i can just go on n on...but then I cant help it coz that's how u are n that's what makes you special n Ur friends lucky!n i am extremely glad to be one of them...thanks a ton for giving me an opportunity to know you and have u as my best friend and on Ur

birthday I wish u the best of life!May all your dreams an wishes come true...may u get loads of happiness,success,good health,love and peace and u better keep that smile on
face...don't even dare to be sad,hopeless or upset...i hate to see u frowning and depressed...so instead of giving u something today this is gift I want from u...as for Ur gift...meri friendship aur lectures haina...???hehe...sorry ya...but that's all this friend can offer with a promise of being there for you always....


and now its partyyyy time...so please..enjoy and celebrate this special day...n don't u dare say its"just another day"...like u have been harping since the past 2 weeks...high time now you are twenty -two now...[old toh u r getting only...now get wise also..hahaha]....so have fun!!
Many many happy returns of the day once again!
keep smiling!
God bless!


[p.s:-sorry friends i m in a rush right now so cant stop at ur wonderful blogs...i know i am missing on to a lot...but you will find me...back.. real soon...till then take care!cya!]

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Break Time!

Helloo everyone....

how are you???

I am here with a big heart felt apology for not being at your wonderful blogs to read and comment...only I know how much I am missing reading you guys but guess that's how it will be for a few upcoming days since I have my first semester exams...and if right now I don't get down to study then it would not be surprising to see me writing excerpts of your lovely posts in my examinations...how I wish they could fetch me marks...but there is no point day dreaming...So I am off for a little break u can heave a sigh of relief but not for long since I will be back soon with with lots of more non sense that you have to bear..and as it is now I cant stay away from this place.. once I get back i will certainly try to keep pace with your writings and also try and finish the story that I have been writing since so long and reply to all the comments...till then please excuse me...So see you after this break...bubyeeee!


miss you all!

take care!!

keep writing!!

God bless!!

Cya soon!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

In Search of the past days-8

As the two of them reached the Doctor's cabin...they saw Neha coming out..her face was pale with dark circles beneath her eyes..as she turned around she saw Ragini and Rahul standing there..for two minutes her eyes were fixed at Rahul,she so wanted to run into his arms but something inside was stopping her and when she knew that her tears could leave her eyes any moment she looked down...and walked past the two of them and rushed towards the parking area..



Rahul stood there still,he wanted to stop her,hug her,ask her how she is..but he couldn't do anything because his pain of seeing his love in pain had taken over him completely...and before Ragini could say anything..a nurse came and and informed them that they were called inside by the doctor..The two of them went inside and the doctor asked them to sit..and just then Ragini introduced Rahul as Neha's husband..The doctor did not give him a very pleasing look for obvious reasons,she turned to Ragini and started giving her instructions, while she was doing so the counsellor walked in and said,"Ragini you will have to bring Neha for regular therapy sessions,when I asked her to come she refused,she seems least convinced and is in no mood to vent out but if we dont comfort her and make her talk her pain will eat her away inside..I hope you are getting what I am saying..."..Ragini nodded and replied..,"I understand Doctor"..then pointing towards Rahul she said"by the way that's Neha's husband Rahul..I did tell you about him right..?"..."ohhh..."


To answer all the questions that were arising in the mind of the counsellor and the doctor and to ease Rahul a bit...Ragini cleared the air by saying"Before we carry on further I want to inform you that Rahul is with us in whatever we do,he wants his wife to recover soon and will do all it takes to get her back to normal and into his life."..To this the counsellor replied.."Sir this is a wise decision that you have made,I appreciate your concern and effort..no relationship is perfect..if there is love all we need to do is chuck the problem out of our life and not the person.Now with your support it is not going to be tough to get Neha out of depression and I assure you with a little effort everything will go fine very soon.."..

This was followed by a few formalities and certain instructions after which both Rahul and Ragini came out..."I think this is not the right time and place for you to meet her..i will take her home let her settle a bit and you can come over sometime in the evening to see her..." Ragini said to Rahul..."but...."...Ragini interrupted again.."Rahul try and understand you know her don't you..."Rahul agreed to what Ragini said and once she left with Neha he drove back home...

It was 3:00 p:m when after lunch both Neha and Ragini sat down together...Neha had not spoken a word since they had come back home..she finally broke her silence and asked Ragini.."why was he there...?why did you call him??...I don't want to bother him anymore..then why the hell did you do that?"...
Ragini said,"listen Neha i did not call him..he was the one who had come here to apologise and to take you back home..and when the maid informed him that we have gone to the hospital , he called me up to inquire and I had to tell him...he came there because he was worried about you...he came there to see you...he came there because he loves you and he cares.."....

"No!!"...that was Neha's blatant response to whatever Ragini said,"he does not....he never did...once he got me...everything else died out..its all over..."....putting her hand on Neha's shoulder Ragini said"that's not true Neha...I know what he did was wrong...he shouldn't have taken you for granted but your absence from his life has made him realise your worth in his life,he regrets what he did..he really does...I had a word with him in the hospital...I saw the pain and love in his eyes..he wants you back,to love you more than ever and to keep you happy...trust me "...hearing this Neha became weak again and started crying,with a heavy voice she said ,"He loves me,may be he needs me but he is not happy with me and guess it is all my fault...I was a good girl friend but not a good wife..I don't know how to give space...I don't understand...my emotional needs and expectations are high...I have become a burden and responsibility for everyone..."and with this she had an outburst...Ragini hugged her and calmed her down...and said"Neha what you are thinking is not true...no marriage is perfect...we all have our share of disappointments,disagreements,fights,issues but still if we stay together that is because our love is stronger than those tiffs and if Rahul is back to you within a week then its not because of a need but because he loves you more than anything in his life...you had promised him that you would give this relationship a second chance right??? so stick to your word...there is no hurry.. you take your time...he will be coming here in the evening talk to him..listen to what he has to say and then decide and please don't blame yourself for anything...you were not wrong had it been that ways Rahul would never come to take you back...believe me"...


Neha just listened to what Ragini said and did not react at all....inside she was waiting for him to come but at the same time her heart and mind were full of insecurities,fears,inhibitions and confusion.....



The clock struck 6:00..the door bell rang,Ragini opened the door..as Rahul stepped in Ragini said..." Rahul i was waiting for you only,I am going out for some work will be back by 10 p:m ,the maid isn't there either...so please make yourself comfortable and just say whatever you want to ...this is your time...I did give her a gist of everything but only you can make her understand ...so I leave it up to you...if you need me anytime give me a call and I will come.."..."Thank you so much Ragini..."..."Oh common please don't say that...anyways I will take your leave now...you can go inside...all the best...cya!"...
"yeah!!!bye!"...with this Ragini left and closing the door..Rahul went inside...



[to be continued...]

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

T@g Time!!!!

I am tagged for this one by someone who is very similar to me...a wonderful writer and a lovely friend....Thanks a lot for tagging me Rohini...and really sorry for the delay...finally I am here with the"about me"tag...has no rules to it...so I can just go on with whatever I have to say about myself:-

there I go-


1.Our identity begins with the name[...let me begin with this only..."I really don't like my name[i.e Parul]"...its weird..wish my parents had thought of something better...since they have given it to me with so much love i accept it...but not very happy about and not to forget to mention that the nicknames stemming out from it are worse!

2.I am a simple person and I adore simplicity...I hate shallow show off...by simple I don't mean dull but yes certainly not loud in any form.


3.I am a very talkative person...once i start off nobody can stop me...I have an opinion on everything which I agree is not nice always..but the clear hint is as far as I am talking I am fine ,when I am shut you can be sure something is wrong and that is the time I can remain silent for hours and not utter a word because I don't feel like!

4.It doesn't take much to keep me happy since small small things of life really excite me... anything from rains,to seeing old albums,reading old cards,a nice conversation with a friend,a pleasant walk,my favorite food ...etc..and you will find me smiling.

5.Sharing my inner most side with anybody is something that I just can't do...at times when I have to...are the ones when I truly experience hell...but yes I am very good at keeping secrets..no weak digestion there at all!

6.Not many people know this but yes I am a die hard romantic...I feel love is the most beautiful feeling in this world and it only holds true when it has the elements of trust and understanding!and feel that life is too short for love!

7.I am a complete family person..I love my people...I live for them...but yes I am exceptionally close to my Mom and Grandma!! Really fond of my elder brother..I look up to him! Papa n I share a different kind of bonding,where we disagree,have tiffs,we make each other laugh but understand each other well..he is a sweetheart!
My friends hold a special place in my life...and my new blogging family is no exception to this one!

8.I think too much...petty things bother me..i become very sensitive at times and yes as I have repeatedly mentioned I lack emotional balance!

9.I am very fond of the colours pink and black...my wardrobe and room are full of these two colours.


10.I love shopping...I go out planning to buy something else but I come back buying things that are not even required!


11.Nobody knows that I can dance well, but I am very inhibited and shy to do so in front of anyone...credit goes to my lovely lack of confidence!But other wise I like drawing,reading,cooking and off course the latest discovered interest is blogging!



12.I am very confused most of the times..decision making doesn't come very easy to me!No stability at all!


13.I get easily attached to people and its terribly difficult to let go off any body...

14.I am a firm believer of the Almighty..and feel if we communicate with Him in the right way there is no better friend or confidante..


15.Three thumb rules I follow:-

*The best way to be happy is to make somebody smile!


*Treat people the way you want them to treat you!


*Never take the people who love you for granted!


Alright...i guess this much of torture is enough for today...this is like crossing all limits of self obsession..sooooooo sorrryyyyyyy for this endless bragging about myself..God!!!! for the first time I have used so many I's...it looks horrible ...right????sorry!! Hope I dint bore you much and also that your shoes are still on your feet and not in your hands...:P if so... time for me to run.......

okie wait how can I forget to tag you guys...so I tag...Leo,Arjun,PJ,Prams, The Soliatry Writer,Nuchu,Artz and Thoorika...
thanks a lot for reading!
God bless you all!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

A very H@ppy Diw@li....


Hieeeee....this one is to wish all you wonderful people a very very very happy and prosperous Diwali..I know its celebration time and everyone is busy in greeting people,sharing sweets,decorating the house..that's the aura of this grand Indian festival..I came here so that I can not just wish you guys but also thank you for your illuminating presence in my life..because whenever I see you people here my eyes light up with joy and an automatic smile comes on my face...so thanks a ton for brightening up my life and on this auspicious occasion I sincerely hope and pray that may this Diwali bring you loads of happiness,prosperity,good health,love,peace and cheer...and may your life brighten up day after day,year after year!

Have a great time!enjoy yourself!
have a safe Diwali! take care!
God bless you all!

Friday, October 16, 2009

"DOORMAT" and "PUNCH BAG"

[if you are expecting something sensible from this write -up then honestly i should inform you before hand it is not one bit sensible..if at all you read , be prepared for nonsense]



I know the title is absurd...and you must be wondering what has this got to do with a post anyway..well..what sounds like names of random objects do not mean so when they are told to me..because they are aptly used to describe "me"...by people who know me very closely..they call me a "door-mat"coz they feel people come,hurt me,say what they want to and go and the best part is since forgiving comes easy to me the same people come again and repeat the same mistakes because I supposedly move around with a label of"welcome"...
As for the "punch bag" status...that I have earned..coz people love to vent out their frustration,tensions and anger on me..and then sweetly say"sorry"....


These two adjectives have been used frequently for me in the past years but since the last year i guess I have improved...that's what I feel..I guess I have become strong but what i still haven't learnt is how to remain emotionally balanced..my sense of guilt is irritating,two emotional words and I am gone,forgiving comes easy to me not that I forget the pain but i can never get even with people nor can I draw lines and there have been times when I really had to but i do it at the front...inside I face hell,my anger shoots up in seconds and comes down even faster..in short I am one complex freak!


Everyday I get lectures on how to judge people,my best friend says that I need to learn to be selfish,she says others lead my life...etc.etc....Why i wrote this here today...is that i was out a while ago when I met an old friend..with whom I have not been in touch since a few months...she is my school friend...we don't meet often..but stay in touch through the phone that too not very regularly..she was with a friend..I met her in a book store where in 2 minutes flat she gave me a bash for not staying in touch..I told her i left texts and messages...but she was least convinced..it was not a chit-chat but bitter allegations in front of her friends..I explained but no use...anyways after a while i just calmed her down and she left...
I went ahead to meet my friend..but by that time I was really upset...I wasn't liking the entire experience..was thinking to myself that how could she go on and on..without even listening and that too so rudely...when i met my best friend I told her about what happened...she told me.."you know you are right so don't worry"...while talking to her I realized that my friend who was raising questions for me not calling did not call up once herself..even if I believe that she did not get any of my messages then she could have cared to initiate..but she dint...then what on earth gives her the right to expect that from me and create such a fuss over it...
as always late realization....for which my best friend says..."you said you are improving and this is how you are doing it...if you can take a stand for others what makes it so difficult when it comes to yourself..why did you listen to her when you knew you were right..high time now change...and all you need to do is do what you do for others ,for your self.."....



I came home thinking what I should have done..i agree its a very petty issue but was not very pleasing..I know I ignore things concerning me but when the same thing happens to others I don't like it ...and the other reason is also that when i create unnecessary fuss about things that can be tolerated I don't like it either..my best friend often gets annoyed at this thought and says that I have different rules for others and myself..so what is it"being a door mat..."...or having "double standards"..i don't know...i am too confused...




[this is the first time I am writing a personal experience here directly...its absolutely senseless...but since its playing on my mind...ever since I have come back I just wrote it down...sorry for dragging on such a trivial issue...and thanks a ton for reading and bearing...you know what the best part is after writing it down I kind of feel lighter...i doesn't seem to matter anymore..I am finding it stupid now...:P]

Sunday, October 4, 2009

In Search of the past days-7

"Listen Rahul calm down...she is fine now.."...Ragini replied.."I want to see her,right now..where is she???".."Rahul right now she is with the doctor,you can meet her in a while..right now i need to talk to you...come with me..".."Ragini i need to see her right away...I cant wait..we'll talk later.."..."please Rahul what i need to tell you is very important...try and understand..."..though he least wanted to still he went down to the hospital cafeteria with Ragini..where ordering two cups of coffee both of them sat across the table!

Taking a sip of coffee Ragini said,"Rahul..why are you letting all of this happen..?you love Neha don't you??then why all of this...??I have lost my sister she is not the joyful and vibrant Neha I have known all these years..she has become this loner ..with no spark to live..."..Rahul interrupted in between "Ragini I know what you mean,but that's exactly what I am here for..I had gone to your place to get Neha back..I love her and I can't live without her...I know I have made mistakes but I will rectify everything...trust me..everything is going to be fine.."... Rahul's words definitely brought some peace to Ragini..but her face still exhibited tension and worry.."Thank God at least you realised that you guys are incomplete without each other and I'm really glad that you want to take her back in your life...but...." "But what??"...Rahul's anxiety levels rose even more..."but what Ragini...????"...Ragini softened her tone a little and said.."Rahul...this is not all that easy..because it is just not a matter of an apology anymore or settlement..but a lot more..."..."stop confusing me ya..get down to the point straight...what do you mean..."... "Fine then...listen..."Ragini began again..."I got Neha here today because she was complaining of migraine for the past 2-3 days...today morning her condition worsened so i had to drag her to the hospital... the doctors here tell me that Neha is suffering from severe depression...not only that for the past few months she has been using sedatives to induce sleep as she complains of regular insomnia..she has also been seeking counselling and the counsellor reports that she has lost confidence in herself and her marriage..she feels neglected..and considers her life a waste..there is just no urge to live..she is only surviving ..."as Ragini said all of this her voice became heavy..tears flowed out of her eyes..and Rahul on the other hand was stunned,his eyes were moist as well..he could not lift his eyes to look at Ragini...he was overpowered by emotions of regret,pain, guilt.. He banged his fist on the table"damn it ..its all my fault..I am the reason of her pain and suffering...how could I...?how could I?"...with this he broke down...Ragini kept her hand on his shoulder but there was nothing that she could possibly say at the time...she tried but words failed her..in a while he rose his head up,spread his hands over his eyes took a sip of coffee and said..

"Ragini...I know what I have to do..I am the reason behind Neha's condition and today I promise you I will bring my life back to life...I will return to you your sister who was a chirpy soul always...she will bounce back ..once again she will be confident,once again she will giggle ,the only thing that will change is my love because I will love her more than ever and that too forever..."
A smile appeared on Ragini's face...."Rahul now I am sure we can get Neha back..thank you so much..I don't think i need to say it but still...just remember you have my support in whatever you do.." "Thanks Ragini..I will be needing a lot of it...anyways now can we please go see her...i cant wait...rest we will see later"..."yes but....i don't know how she will react seeing you here"Ragini replied in worry.. "don't worry...lets go".. [to be continued]

Thursday, September 24, 2009

In Search of the past days-6

Rahul was very happy today..it was like a new life...a new beginning..on his way he picked up some fresh orchids..Neha loved orchids and Rahul always use to take them along whenever he met Neha before marriage ..while buying them he was as nervous and excited as he was the day he proposed her and even today there was something happy inside and a little fear...a mix of emotions...a jigsaw of memories...all the way his thoughts were jumping from the past to the future...till he finally reached Ragini's apartment.

He settled himself..took a deep breath in and rang the door bell...after two minutes the house maid opened the door and let him in...as he stepped into the house..his eyes were madly looking for Neha...just then the maid got him a glass of water and told him that there is nobody at home..Rahul enquired from her"where is Neha???"...to which the maid replied"actually Neha
ma'am was not keeping well since 3-4 days..so Ragini ma'am has taken her to the hospital today..."..."what???"Rahul lost his smile immediately..."what happened to her??which hospital..."..."I don't know sir"the maid replied nervously..the bouquet of flowers fell from his hands...dialing Raginni's number,he ran towards his car...Raginni picked up his call.."hello".."Raginni...where are you??what happened to Neha???how is she????"...to which Ragini replied.."We are at the City Hospital...Neha had a severe migraine attack ...so I got here here...the doctors are checking..."..."I am coming.."...saying this he disconnected the call...In no time he reached the hospital ..making the necessary enquiries at the help desk...he rushed to see Neha..as he was hurrying through the corridors he collided with Ragini..."where were you guys?what happened...what are the doctors saying...how is she?????"...

[to be continued...]

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Two Years of wonderful friendship!!


Yepppieeee...today is the 21st of September...a very special day for me..naaa..its not someones birthday..no anniversaries..no milestones..but the day when exactly two years back I met a stranger...whom i proudly call my best friend today..yes u made the right guess...your solitary writer,some call him ste...but I call him stibumama..a random scrap to a simple add request..would lead to such a strong friendship i had never thought..and today when i look back and reflect, it has been one awesome journey..when we turned from strangers to acquaintances then to Friends and then to the best of friends! Whenever i sit back and recall these two years they make me really nostalgic...since within them lie numerous memories of the days we endlessly chatted...about everything right from our college,to our friends,to our families,our childhood,our interests,our write -ups,our experiences...everything with a comfort of never being judged or scrutinised but being understood..but hang on..it wasn't all that smooth either..we have had our share of disagreements,arguments and fights as well...times when we gave each other a tough time..actually let me not hide ..i was the one who gave stibumama a tough time always..not that i am one bit apologetic for it today..as i consider myself really brave to not scum to his anger and his self criticism which i absolutely hate and off course his stubbornness to not to listen to me whenever I try to get something sensible into his head..before you get down to think how can your adorable solitary writer do all that...let me just tell you..the issues when i had to initiate world war 3 with him ...wait a second let me quote them for you here:- he says-

* "I am no good ya...not a good person...really...I hate myself"-now don't u think he needs to be whacked for this foolish statement that he gives me every now n then...so then i just do it!

* "I am deleting my blog...i don't think i can write anymore...nobody cares to read me now...its oki...doesn't really matter if it exists or not"-now tell me should i sit back at such statements n say"its okie beta go ahead"...or say it point blank that "dont u dare do it else i will kill you"

* "I am not going to come online...its alright one friend less from every one's friend list wont make a difference...2 days later no one would even remember me.."-now you only tell me which best friend will bear such nonsense..so that's when the argument begins..

ahmm...seeing his orkut profiles,seeing him coming online and seeing his beautiful blog intact..u obviously know who wins the arguments..heheh...yeah the first bit is still left...but mind you for humble people like him who dont realise their own worth..its a little difficult task...but then as if I am giving up..[ham honge kamyab ek din...!!]

We quarrel..we disagree..we irritate each other..that's because we are quite opposite each other..our thinking,choices,ways of responding to life don't match at all...but still we remain the best of friends because of the respect,acceptance and understanding we give each other..This one is more in favor of stibumama..because he has always given me the comfort and space of being myself..I can behave like the biggest fool on this planet in front of him but still not be embarrassed at all..and i have done that a lot many times..and that's when i have earned titles like"frog,darpok,stupid,Sonia Gandhi,mother Teressa,kid..etc.."well there are others very sweet ones also...since i don't deserve them i am not putting them down here..and honestly i like these ones!

and yes coming to one daily complaint that He has from me is that..I don't need to thank him or apologise to him for anything..still i keep doing it!and since I have picked up his stubbornness..i am not going to listen and do it officially here today..with reasons..so that he knows every time I say it I dont extend formality but I actually mean it! so Stibumama..

I really want to say a big thank you from the bottom of my heart for-

*always bringing a smile on my face when I least want to.

*for always listening to my boring lectures and instead of cribbing..saying a thank you!


*for always making me feel remembered and special!


*for acknowledging me for things I din't even do..but you still gladly give me the credit for them.


*for being ever so patient and sweet enough to answer my endless stupid questions..even though i repeat them a 100 times![slow learner you see]

*for accepting me the way I am..though I know it really gets irritating at times..coz thats when you say"you don't fit this century"..but then asking me not to change!


*for giving me the time and courage to overcome my fears and inhibitions. *for trusting me with your secrets.

*for inspiring me and encouraging me to do something I wanted to but never considered myself capable of[blogging]..for not only fulfilling this dream of mine but also for being supportive throughout!I am here coz of you!


*for listening,caring,helping for being there always...THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHH!


I can't reciprocate a percent of all that you have done for me..but can promise you one thing that whenever you need a friend I will always be there...for sure! Now coming to the things I need to apologise for..
so here's a heartfelt "sorry"-

*for all the times I have tested your patience..

*for all the times..i did not understand..


*for all the times I scolded you.


*for the times I refused to listen..


*for the times I have irritated you..
and off course for any thing I ever did that hurt you"I am really very sorry"n i know you will forgive me..so thank you:P


Well writing all this is like reliving all those wonderful moments of our friendship again..and today I feel blessed that I got an opportunity to be friends with an awesome person like you...there could be no better friend than you..and as i repeatedly say...you make a great human being,a fantastic friend,a superb writer..I consider myself lucky to have a Friend like you n i m extremely proud of you! always remain the adorable person that you are..as it is you cant improve perfection..but yes there are two little things that i really want you to change..ahmm one is your temper..waise my anger management lessons are working well for that..good progress there and secondly..pleaseeee...learn to realise your own value..you are one gem of a person and its high time now..better accept it..else be prepared for hundreds of more lectures in the upcoming years!

As we celebrate our friendship today..I sincerely pray that may the best of life come your way always and may all your dreams and wishes come true!and may god bless our friendship as well..and i just hope we stay the best of friends always!Thanks a ton for everything Stibu
mama..your friendship is really precious to me and I shall treasure it always!You are simply the best my best friend!

Congratulations for the glorious completion of two years of our friendship..its been like a roller coaster ride..thanks a ton for tolerating me this long and all the best for the upcoming years as well...since I am going to give you a lot more nonsense! keep smiling always! my best wishes and prayers are always there with you! god bless you!

[p.s:-I'm really sorry for this lengthy post..but on this special day I did not want to let go off any opportunity to tell my best friend how important he and his friendship are to me..this one is for you stibumama...from your friend and disciple..hope u like it..]

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Time for the 'Superior Scribbler Award'

Speechless...overwhelmed...pleasantly surprised and really touched...yes that was my reaction on receiving the Superior Scribbler Award ..from Arthi...I knew I could scribble..that is for sure...ahmmm..superior scribbler...that is like too much of an adjective for an amateur writer like me but sometimes we do get more than we deserve...so here I am with this award!Thank you sooooooooo much Artz...I am really honored and extremely happy to receive this one from you..When I saw my name mentioned in your blog with all that you had written..I was overjoyed...thanks a ton for considering me worthy of it and for being so encouraging and supportive!It really means a lot to me...thank uuu...:)

okie now coming to the rules of the award:

1. Each superior scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most deserving blogger friends.

2. Each superior scribbler must link to the author and the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

3. Each superior scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to this post which explains The Award.

4. Each blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to My Linky List.

5. Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.



It gives me immense pleasure to pass it onto:-

1.The Solitary Writer[stibu mama]-A wonderful blogger whose works I am reading long before I entered the world of blogging...I love the way he writes..in different genres and make each one seem perfect and professional!A power house of talent .. with a unique ability of bringing his characters to life!



2.Leo-He is a highly dedicated blogger..I simply adore his works...then whether its fiction,poetry,reality...anything for that matter...He uses different styles of writing and brings out the best in them..his words create magic and take you into a beautiful world of his imagination!



3.Arjun-Its easy to make people cry or get them serious on issues but its very difficult to make them laugh especially through words and this creative blogger is an expert in it!Humor is his forte but his talent is not limited to it...whatever he writes is a pleasure to read..his words evoke images and involve you in the plot completely.He always leaves his readers contented and smiling!



4.Roshini-what should I say about this young girl who is exceptionally talented..whenever I read her works I am always left speechless...such amazing expression at such a young age is commendable..she inspires me..and makes me want to learn things from her!



5.Kajal-an awesome blogger who has the honesty and guts to write her heart and mind out!Her words have depth,beauty,expression and above all reality!She has the art of using words..and an ability of giving a language to emotions..which make her incredible!



All you guys are exceptionally good...and I am very happy to have got an opportunity to honour you people!Great going guys..keep writing...keep inspiring...I will keep reading and keep learning...!


[p.s...did i begin with the word 'speechless'...ahmmm...now u don't have to take things by their literal meaning...if u do...then that's how i go speechless...hehehe]

Sunday, September 13, 2009

In search of the past days-5


As he was flipping through the pages of the newspaper...he came across his weekly horoscope which said"you are going through a lot of turmoil in your personal life..a personal relationship demands immediate attention..do not be laid back ..since life does not give a second chance always.."...with this his eyes open wide he thought to himself..."what the hell is this suppose to mean..???is this astrologer spying on me??..or has this message just been published for me in specific?.."..."or is it God's way of telling me that i better do something before it gets too late..?"with this he closed his eyes...

Today began his search for the past days..memories of those beautiful moments spent with Neha were flashing in his mind one after the other..from the day he proposed..to the day the day of their wedding..then the two years they stayed together and off course the painful moment when Neha was leaving home..just then he opened his eyes and got up..as he was getting up...he saw an old lady waiting on one side of the road..and on the opposite side of the road was an old man eagerly trying really hard to overcome the hustle bustle and traffic of the road in order to reach her...once he reached he took her hand in his...and holding it tight he took her across the lane..Rahul carefully observed the old couple...who then walked down the lane hand in hand ...the wrinkles of their skin had not one bit lessened the love of their eyes and their care and concern...for each other..observing the old couple a sudden thought came to his mind.."why did I do it??why did I break my promise...I had held Neha 's hand forever and promised to walk with her through this journey of life then how did leave her alone in the middle and started moving ahead...this is not happening...I love her...I will cross this distance between us ...hold her hand ..this time forever ..and get her back into my life...yes...exactly what I will do..I want to grow old with her....I will not waste this second chance...why should I..after all I love her...yes....I love her ...." ..

He immediately went inside to get ready...all this while there was a constant smile on his face...he was imagining all that he would do once Neha gets back home with him .."Neha you were right I am a fool...I don't know what took me so long..to realize that for me life is you ..then how can I live without you...I promise there will be no complaints now..just love...like it was earlier...just get back once and i will never let go off you..."..these were the words he said out aloud before the mirror...and once he was ready...he dashed out of is house to get her back...


[to be continued]

Friday, September 11, 2009

The Freakin Fabulous Award

Yeppie...I am really elated and honoured to receive this wonderful award from the Solitary writer[gosh this is super formal..i am not liking it...so for me Stibu mama].I don't know if I deserve it but it is super special to me not just because its a lovely award but because I got it from the person because of whom I am here...thank you soooooooooo much Stibumama...this really means a lot to me!thanks a ton!I owe it all to you...thank you!



okie now coming to the formal procedure:- Rules of the Award:
* List five current obsessions.
* Pass the award on to five more fabulous blogs.
* On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.
* When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well.
* Don’t forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by leaving a comment on their blog.


5 obsessions would be:-
Reading:-when I was in school I used to hate reading but don't know when I developed a liking for it..today I am fond of reading everything write from the newspapers,to magazines to novels and now that I am here then I can proudly mention I enjoy reading the blogs of all you guys!

Blogging:-I never thought this would happen..really...initially i used to check my blog maybe once in 2-3 days..I used to prefer writing less and honestly dint even visit many blogs...but today I am kind of addicted to this place whenever I get an opportunity I am here..if not to post then to read and leave comments...!

Shopping:-That's quite common I guess...especially with girls and a pain for boys...but I really like it!

Nature walks:-I am really fond of going out for long walks..I live in a place which is famous for its scenic beauty...so I have to go out once in a day for sure until or unless I am really stuck with some urgent work or illness!

Music:-My day begins and ends with it....i always carry my headphones with me...it really keeps me going...love listening to it!

coming to the top five bloggers..well for me everyone here is simply fabulous...some have already been awarded...and here are the names of some more:-
1.Kajal
2.Nuchu
3.Priya joyce
4.Pinkzzz

5.Thoorika

[p.s:-thanks a lot stibumama...for not only giving me this award but also an opportunity to pass it onto all these fabulous writers...!]

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

In Search of the past days-4

Neha went to live with her sister Ragini who was working and living independently in the same town..she told Ragini everything..Ragini did not know what to say to her whether her decision was wrong or right but one thing that she was very clear about was that though Neha had made a tough decision..she was completely broken and shattered inside..and she was in need of a lot of care and support..Ragini hugged her and said.."Don't worry Neha everything will go fine..I am there with you"..

Rahul on the other hand was going through his own set of conflicts..everything just happened too early for him to realise or do anything..he was sitting absolutely motionless on the couch...and his face lacked an emotion..just then his cell phone rang..it took him two minutes to come out of his trance and receive the call.."Hello..hiee Rahul, Ragini here...".."oh hie..how are you?"..he replied....she said"Rahul actually Neha had asked me not to tell you saying that it did not matter anymore..but I thought I should let you know that she is here with me..so don't worry alright...".."hmmm...the thing is..."Ragini interrupted him and said"Rahul you don't need to explain things to me...I know everything..and I leave it to you guys..just wanted to inform you that Neha is with me and she is fine..you take care as well ..byee"..."okie thank you...bye"...saying this Rahul disconnected the call.

Ragini's call actually made him realise that Neha had gone...he thought to himself..."why did I let her go????"..."I should have stopped her...".."I cant live without her...how can she do this to me...she says she loves me..and knows very well that I love her too...then why??"...these thoughts broke him completely and his eyes were flooded with tears..after an emotional outburst that lasted almost an hour he got up had some water..went to his room...lay on his bed and fell asleep.... It was 6.30 a:m when the door bell woke him up...it was the milkman..he took the pack of milk...came inside...made a cup of tea and sat in the living room...today was his first morning without Neha since two years...everyday Neha would wake him up with a smile and a cup of tea...today he had the tea in his hand but Neha and her smile were missing..the loneliness of the house was slowly and slowly creeping into his heart,he was restless,irritated.disturbed.."why did she have to do that "he thought to himself...but this thought was not of grief but of anger..."well if she thinks she can live alone...then so can i...when she doesn't feel the need to carry on then even I won't beg her to return..she will regret her decision and will come back to me on her own...when she will realise that some things are easier said than done...she will come back..."...he thought over and over again...and gave himself a reassurance.."yes...she loves me...she can't possibly stay away she will come back..."...after several attempts of self justification..he managed to reduce his dissonance a bit..and when he felt a control over himself ... he got ready and left for work..

Throughout the day he made a sincere effort to keep himself distracted so that he does not think about her..and kept assuring himself that he is right and that she will come back on her own in a day or two...every time his cellphone rang he expected her call...but when he saw some other name flashing on the screen...all his hopes would crash in a second...He carried on like this for the 5 days..every morning he used to get up creating a strong front thinking to himself"that he is doing fine...without her..and she will come back realising her mistake.."..and every night he used to go to bed disappointed and upset..With each passing day his hope of her coming back faded.. Today is Sunday...Rahul..got up...piked up the newspaper and sat down with a cup of tea in the balcony...

[to be continued....]

Sunday, September 6, 2009

In Search of the past days-3


..Neha opened the door..Rahul entered in..without even looking at her he threw his bag on the couch..and said.."hey I was expecting a courier to reach..did it???"...Neha gave him a firm look and said point blank "No!"..Her blatant response agitated Rahul and he said "Oh common Neha..I come home tired from the days work and instead of welcoming me with a smile you are standing here with a frown...whats wrong with you.."..this infuriated Neha even more..and she said"whats wrong with me???????where do you manage to get all that courage to make those complaints from and raise a finger at me..when you yourself don't have the time to receive my calls also..not even realising that maybe there some urgency...do you even remember the last time you called up yourself to ask me how am i??".."Oh god...what is there to ask ya...we live in the same house..what are you expecting that in midst of meetings and work I will call you up for a chit chat.."..Rahul said.

Neha took a deep breath in and then said"Listen rahul..even I work...still whenever I get an opportunity I call you up..not because its a duty...but because you matter to me..but fine leave this aside...what happens when you come back home..then you are free...right...free to watch t.v,go to the club...to surf the Internet..you have that time and I agree its you personal time..but still two minutes of care or two words of affection are too much to ask for...is it???...everyday I wait for you to return..you come..carry out a formal conversation with me and carry on with your routine..I feel like I am invisible to you...it surprises me like hell that are you the same man who called up every now and then just to feel my presence in your life????"..with this she sat down on the sofa and started crying..

Rahul raised his voice again and reacted by saying .."Damn it.. why don't you get it ..I haven't changed...our life has...earlier we were not living together...but now we are...you can't expect things to be the same Neha..I can't be all that lovey duvey all the time....I have a life of my own also...you need to give me that space...please...I love you and you know that..[his tone became softer]...don't make an issue out of this..."

His words pierced through her heart...her tears were not stopping..but she gathered her strength ,stood up and said..."fine you want space...you shall get it now..I am leaving...probably you need a break from me...and you shall have it..earlier I thought that rather than living like this I should end this relationship but since it matters to me the most and I don't want any second thoughts later I want to give it one last chance..and also because as you said "I know that you love me"...but I can't feel it anymore ..I can give you space but not lead a blank life...you live with your space and time and if that's how you want your life to be...then we will part ways forever. Rahul if living together gave people the liberty to take their loved ones for granted..or treat them like trash then nobody would ever want to live together...today I create this distance between the two of us if you plan to travel through it to reach me then you will have to return to me as the Rahul I had fallen in love with and if not then I would rather live with the sweet memories.. of my past than with broken dreams of the future...now we will only live together if you feel the need of a companion,of your love and not a kitchen maid or a care taker of your house..you will know how its living with me and without me..make your choice..and so will I...till then goodbye.."..

"Neha you cant be serious"Rahul said in amazement.."I am ..sadly the problem is you never took me seriously.."..she started packing her luggage and making a few calls.."You can't leave me....alone..like this...".."Rahul at least its better than living alone.. when the person you love is right beside you...anyways you take care...bye..".and with tears still profusely flowing out of her eyes she left her home...

[to be continued]

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

In Search of the past days-2


"Neha..I know what you mean to say but I cant begin to tell you how happy I am to hear all of this from you and that's because what you perceived from my actions is exactly what i wanted to convey...you are very special to me and I don't want to miss any opportunity to tell you that I love you!and as far as calls are concerned its my way of staying close to you ..even when we are apart...to know that you are fine..keeps me tension free..and Ma'am i promise you one thing...I will always trouble and bother you the same way... whether you like it or not...so get use to it..because time might change but my love and concern wont"

..Today Neha and rahul have been married for two years..its yet another evening...same cafe..but today Neha is sitting here alone...recalling the day when Rahul had promised her that nothing is going to change his love for her.. Neha's eyes which had dreams,affection and tears of happiness were sheltering pain,loneliness and a search of the past days..a numerous questions were running across her mind...


"where did all the care and concern go?".."is he the same man who said i was special to him?".."someone who had the world's time to talk to me irrespective of a hectic schedule???"..."have I changed?".."has he changed?".."am I expecting too much????"..."God...."she covered her face with her hands...was motionless for a while then she raised her head..wiped her tears and said to herself"I want my answers...I am not carrying on like this...I married for love...Not to be taken for granted..or to be a show piece in his house..I did not marry him for 3 months I married him to grow old with him...I know ..I know I can't expect him to be like a teenage boy friend now but at least like a friend...a companion..being in a marriage if I have to be lonely only then I might as well be alone...this is it..."...she got up and rushed back home!
It was 8 at night..the door bell rang..Neha opened the door..Rahul entered in.

[to be continued...]

Sunday, August 30, 2009

In search of the past days-1

She was sitting in her class when her cell phone flashed a light...it was him..she sneaked her hand into her handbag and disconnected his call...2 seconds later...he called again...she disconnected it again thinking that he will get the hint that she must be in midst of a lecture and that's why she is not picking up..but to no use...he called up again..then she did not take the pain to disconnect his calls..later after class when she checked her cell phone it gave a notification of 39 missed calls...amazed at his madness she called him back and said,
"Rahul..whats wrong with you...39 missed calls...you knew I was in a lecture dint you...but hey first tell me all well at your end...was there anything urgent that you wanted to say.?."..to which he replied "off course Neha..is that even a question..if I called you so many times must be something important ..."..getting all worried she asked"so tell me now...hurry up..what are you waiting for.." ...."hmm I love you..."...he said..."silly that is fine you can get romantic later tell me what happened..why were you calling?" He smiled and replied"Neha that is what I wanted to say that's why I called you"...Neha was stunned for a second..with a huge smile on her she asked him"you are telling me you called me 39 times to tell me this?".."exactly..for me this is of utmost importance...and how could I begin my day without listening to your voice sweetheart.." he said..Neha was speechless...she was blushing like anything..and her smile refused to leave her face..".."aww..Rahul..I love you too...you carryon for work..I will call you up in the evening..right now I'm rushing for another lecture..".."okie baby...bubyee...."n both kept down the phone!
it was 2'o clock when Neha had just stepped out of college...when her phone rang again...she picked up n said "yours is like a perfect timing I just got free and you called up again...?"....Rahul replied "well i was missing you..so i called up..."...they both spoke to each other till the time Neha got back home!..
In the evening both of them met at a coffee shop..where Neha kept her hand on his hand and looking into his eyes she said"you know Rahul..I may complain several times..that I am in the class don't call me,or mom is around..why did u call..or when I say you are crazy when you call me up to say that 'I am missing you' just two minutes after we've met..but today I confess before you..that I lie always..with each and every call that you make I fall more in love with you..every time your name flashes on my cellphone my heart beat increases..I always wait for your call..and when you do..then nothing else seems to matter more than your voice..my day becomes good when you wish me good morning..I feel like the whole world cares for me..when you ask me to take care..when you say that you miss me..I feel extremely special and when u say that you love me...I..just..."..she could not speak further...her eyes that were full of affection of the world got moist...and she could not look him in his eyes anymore...while she looked down Rahul could not keep his eyes off her face..he always knew Neha felt that ways inside but since she was very hesitant to admit it..He never expected her to say all of this that too face to face..He was over whelmed..He knew it was not easy for her...but still she said it..his happiness knew no bounds..he wanted to get up that very moment and hug her but he knew this was the time to comfort her without making it awkward for her so that she doesn't regret saying what she felt...so he gently held her hand n said..
[to be continued..]

Monday, August 24, 2009

Alone in the journey of Life..


I walk alone
On this path unknown

Nobody beside me to share
Nobody to say that,"I care"

I overcome my fears
I wipe my tears

Nobody to understand,Nobody to see
The pain I carry everyday with me

I carry the load of my loneliness on my back
I keep questioning myself"where do I lack?"

Nobody to answer,Nobody to explain
I expected sunshine,but I'm getting wet in the rain.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Heights of Coincidence....


Sometimes some little things leave us stunned and surprised...now I am here to share a little incident with you that happened yesterday...my best friend Manu and I share a very sweetly mad,not always perfect but wonderful and special relationship..when coming to our thinking we are polls apart..our ideologies don't match one bit,our expectations from life are quite different and so are our reactions and expressions...but besides so many differences we are best of friends..but where there are differences there are similarities as well..our choice is pretty similar..and we generally buy things with each others consent whenever we go out for shopping...now listen to this..for the past ten days my best friend has been out of town..she had gone to Delhi..she came back yesterday evening..I gave her call to ask her about how her trip was and what all she did..and as always there was a definite discussion about all that she bought for herself..now she has a preference for wearing heels,stilettos,boots and all that..so for a refreshing change she tells me"parul...You won't believe it but this time for a change I bought a pair of Reebok shoes for myself.."..I got all excited and told her.."what???you won't believe it even I bought a pair of Reebok shoes two days back"..both of us were talking about what a coincidence is this when she just asked me"by the way what color shoes did you buy.."i quickly replied.."purple and grayish silver.."..and the bigger coincidence awaited me when she tells me hers are of the same color as well...both of us were kind of surprised..that how can we both buy similar shoes when we are miles away..but I was wrong as she wore them to the university today...and they were not similar..but completely identical..both of us were very stunned to see that..we bought the same thing on the same day in different towns..both of us had no plans of buying these shoes..we went to just check out stuff like that only and liked them and came out buying them...and now we possess the same pair of shoes...somehow its strange! and what is stranger is that my best friend does not like it at all when she comes across somebody who is wearing what she is wearing ..you won't believe it when she and her sister wear clothes of a similar shade they don't even walk together and force me to walk in between...so now I told her that since she wont like the idea..of both of us wearing the same shoes on same days..so it will be problematic for her..but time for another surprise...she says"naaa....we will...n I'm gonna luv it..it speaks volumes for our bonding.." I don't know what to say to that...things that we don't tolerate in our siblings become a matter of joy with friends at times..and when its with best friends..everything crazy and absurd otherwise becomes a matter of pride...whatever it is...one thing is for sure whenever I will look at these shoes now they are bound to get back the sweet memories of my friendship and my best friend and leave me smiling!
[p.s:-This post does not have much sense..like many of my other posts..but I felt like sharing this with you guys...so here it is...thanks for bearing with me...take care!God bless!]

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Happy Independence Day


Today is the 15Th of August..we have completed 62 years of Independence today..a day of national importance has become nothing more than a national holiday for all of us..we sit back at home to relax..go out for movies,shopping and have fun..We all know that how we have attained this independence..it involved a lot of struggle,physical and mental torture and bloodshed..but at last we succeeded ..but this success came at the cost of many lives! We say we are a free nation..but do we value the freedom that we have..since we did not pay a price for it..we conveniently forgot the sacrifices that our freedom fighters made for it!! its like an inherited property..we got it from our forefathers,we are using it..but doing nothing about it!Coming to talk of what we can do! we all must have heard people saying that if you want others to respect you then learn to respect yourself..and how many of the Indians actually respect their own country..go to any corner of India you will find people cribbing"ours is a corrupted nation,we are overpopulated,we lack infrastructure..and the list goes on and on"..but if you turn around and ask them "what are they doing for the nation?"..these mute spectators will quickly respond"now what can we do at such small level and how will it make a difference"..I don't understand is standing at the border with arms and ammunition the only way to serve the country..only the armed forces hold responsibility towards the nation..every Indian represents India.A foreigner comes to our country and goes back with a bad impression because of a particular experience with a few individuals...He will never care to say that a few people were not hospitable in India..but everybody gets generalised as "Indians are like that".
We have received so much from this country..its our home and we Indians together form a big family..then who else is responsible to keep our home clean,beautiful and at peace "Us"..If we wont take care of our family who will...we've spent decades behaving like a mob...lets start rising up together as a democracy..as sensible people who can act not react! The Britishers have gone leaving their"divide and rule"policy here...lets chuck that out as well and establish"Unity in diversity"...lets stop playing the blame game...anything happens we blame it on the people outside..though the root cause lies within us..and I have no intention of saying that come down on the streets,protest or initiate a revolution...just a simple little thing and that is change yourself rather than changing the world..be the change you want to see..strive to be a good citizen..you can't stop corruption don't be a part of the chain reaction..break the cycle,you can't educate the entire nation..support the education of a child,you can't keep the environment of the nation clean at least don't litter around yourself..simple little steps and at least there is some beginning..even if it is at the grass root level..leave the"chalta hai"..attitude..and don't propagate things saying"that's how it functions in India"..we are the ones who made this India..so we are very much capable of changing it as well..all we need to do is think in the right direction and then implement that thinking..unlike the laws that are formed but never implemented! I know this is quite like a sermon or a boring Independence day speech..but just take out two minutes to think is it all that difficult to be good citizen...we are fortunate to be born in a country like India..we all often say it that "we are proud to be Indians"..but its not that we are actually very happy and proud of the way our country functions...its just that our loyalty to our motherland makes us say it...deep inside we all know we have a long way to go..and a well begin is half done..so lets all try to make that little beginning..so that India just doesn't shine on the poster of an election campaign but globally and actually!! On this positive note I wish all of you a very happy Independence Day! God bless!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Dressing Up For Him...



She opened her closet and picked out a nice red gown...
kept it before her and made a frown
She then pulled out a yellow dress,followed by green and a blue
"I don't like a single one what should I do?
I want to dress up my best after all its my first date
I'm still hunting for clothes even though I'm already late!"
she could not decide what to wear..
changed back into her t-shirt n jeans and sat in despair
just then there was a knock at the door
she knew it was him she couldn't possibly ignore
she opened the door but she dint look at him
He looked at her and smiled as he entered in
"why aren't you ready?"he gently asked her
with a lump in her throat she answered in a whisper
"I wanted to dress up beautifully today so that I leave you impressed

But when nothing seemed to look pretty I got all depressed..

I'm really sorry I know I spoilt your day

Lets postpone this date to next Saturday"

She tried to say more but could not speak
tears flowed down her rosy red cheek

"you are the most beautiful women in this world did I tell you that before
I guess I dint ,else you wouldn't have thought of all this for sure
You don't need to make efforts to look good
Your dresses don't spoil my mood

My love for you is not for your beauty outside
But your lovely heart is the reason for my pride
when your simplicity suits you the best
you just don't need to be bothered about the rest
your sweet innocent smile lights up my day
the twinkles of your eyes show me the way
the warmth and goodness you radiate is beyond compare
my Life seems perfect when you are there
So my dear princess,

stop worrying about the beauty that is transient and external

because my love for you is far more deep and eternal!"


[p.s:I began writing a story...then after two lines it became more like a poem...and now that I read it...its neither a well written story nor a good poem..don't ask me what it is...I'm posting it because I know you people are used to my nonsense now...ahmm...thats called taking advantage of the humble nature of wonderful people...:P...na na..there is no need to be kind feel free to tell me its crappy..I won't mind..]