Friday, October 16, 2009


[if you are expecting something sensible from this write -up then honestly i should inform you before hand it is not one bit sensible..if at all you read , be prepared for nonsense]

I know the title is absurd...and you must be wondering what has this got to do with a post anyway..well..what sounds like names of random objects do not mean so when they are told to me..because they are aptly used to describe "me" people who know me very closely..they call me a "door-mat"coz they feel people come,hurt me,say what they want to and go and the best part is since forgiving comes easy to me the same people come again and repeat the same mistakes because I supposedly move around with a label of"welcome"...
As for the "punch bag" status...that I have earned..coz people love to vent out their frustration,tensions and anger on me..and then sweetly say"sorry"....

These two adjectives have been used frequently for me in the past years but since the last year i guess I have improved...that's what I feel..I guess I have become strong but what i still haven't learnt is how to remain emotionally sense of guilt is irritating,two emotional words and I am gone,forgiving comes easy to me not that I forget the pain but i can never get even with people nor can I draw lines and there have been times when I really had to but i do it at the front...inside I face hell,my anger shoots up in seconds and comes down even short I am one complex freak!

Everyday I get lectures on how to judge people,my best friend says that I need to learn to be selfish,she says others lead my life...etc.etc....Why i wrote this here that i was out a while ago when I met an old friend..with whom I have not been in touch since a few months...she is my school friend...we don't meet often..but stay in touch through the phone that too not very regularly..she was with a friend..I met her in a book store where in 2 minutes flat she gave me a bash for not staying in touch..I told her i left texts and messages...but she was least was not a chit-chat but bitter allegations in front of her friends..I explained but no use...anyways after a while i just calmed her down and she left...
I went ahead to meet my friend..but by that time I was really upset...I wasn't liking the entire experience..was thinking to myself that how could she go on and on..without even listening and that too so rudely...when i met my best friend I told her about what happened...she told me.."you know you are right so don't worry"...while talking to her I realized that my friend who was raising questions for me not calling did not call up once herself..even if I believe that she did not get any of my messages then she could have cared to initiate..but she dint...then what on earth gives her the right to expect that from me and create such a fuss over it...
as always late realization....for which my best friend says..."you said you are improving and this is how you are doing it...if you can take a stand for others what makes it so difficult when it comes to yourself..why did you listen to her when you knew you were right..high time now change...and all you need to do is do what you do for others ,for your self.."....

I came home thinking what I should have done..i agree its a very petty issue but was not very pleasing..I know I ignore things concerning me but when the same thing happens to others I don't like it ...and the other reason is also that when i create unnecessary fuss about things that can be tolerated I don't like it best friend often gets annoyed at this thought and says that I have different rules for others and what is it"being a door mat..."...or having "double standards"..i don't know...i am too confused...

[this is the first time I am writing a personal experience here directly...its absolutely senseless...but since its playing on my mind...ever since I have come back I just wrote it down...sorry for dragging on such a trivial issue...and thanks a ton for reading and know what the best part is after writing it down I kind of feel lighter...i doesn't seem to matter anymore..I am finding it stupid now...:P]


  1. HI Parzi,

    so u r soo patient, right ?
    good yaar,,keep it up..:)

    Its always good to be easy going with ppl, but sometimes, we need to be strict and sensitive in expressions too ..beware of it and enjoy the time with frnds..

    happy diwali to u ..

    enjoyed reading this..write the peosonal stuf probss. :)

  2. Excess of everything is bad. You must have heard of it. People love to vent out their anger, frustration on you . Ok. But don't let them take you for granted .

  3. It happens wid me too but now i think i have improved myself..
    One line for you : "When you have nowhere to go, Go back to yourself"
    hope you understood what i mean :)

  4. i knw u ... hehehe cz i still remember that episode crybaby wala :p
    " I have different rules for others and myself."
    full score to mannat fr this line...
    ppl vent out their frustrations ,anger on u cz its u who take it ....nd u r characterized by these things....u have to change nd i have already told u r ...u r a sweet girl god bless

  5. Errr! Where is my comment?!?!? I was the first one to comment! My comment is missing :(

  6. be as u r dear u know u r right ..and dun just change juss cos u dun like wat people say about ya...
    life is special..and am sure u make a lot of difference to peoples' lives...
    n keep doing sure there'll be many who'd recognize u as a gr8 friend and not just use u and be mean to u :)

  7. U've written ur experience here.... But what it has done is that it has showed what a gem of a person u r.... Very precious and very rare...... I'm not carried away nor exaggerating.... Ppl like u are hard to find.... :)

    Change if it hurts too much... But don't change too much... U wouldn't get such comments if u change... hehe :P

    Sry for being late...


  8. @prams...
    hieee....thank u soooooooooooooooooooooo muchhhhh for those sweet words...i have patience but sometimes i give up on it...probably that's the balance i lack...will certainly keep ur words of wisdom in mind...they really mean a lot!
    thanks a ton for reading and for all the warmth and support u 'v showered dear!
    thank uuu.
    god bless!

  9. @ekam
    thanks a ton dear!
    thanks a lot for reading and for that lovely piece of advise!
    i will surely remember it!
    thank u soooooooooo muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
    take care!
    God Bless!

  10. @Riya
    yes dear i am getting what u r saying and shall be careful about it!
    thank you soooooooooooo much for coming,reading and leaving such a wonderful comment...i truly appreciate it a lot!
    thank uuuuuu!
    take care!
    god bless!

  11. @solitary writer
    hey stibumama..thank u soooooooooo muchhhhhhhhh for that adorable coment...ya ya i know both u n mannu want me to change...but u know its not that no promises there...but i will try to improve!...
    and the ppl venting out one me r imp to its okie na...heheheh...ya ya i know u will kill me if i say so!
    but i know what all u want me to change...will try..pakka!
    thanks a lot for coming and reading this!
    take care!
    god bless!

  12. @nuchu...
    ohhhhhh...i m missing it...god knows why dint it get published...anyways no problem...ur presence here is more than enough to make me smile!
    u r here that's all that matters sweetheart!
    thank u soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhh for being there always and for always taking out time to read and for regularly coming here as my really means a lot to me!thanks a ton!!i lucky to have u as my friend!
    luv ya loads!

  13. @pj
    awwwwweeeeee...thank u soooooooooooooooooooooooooo muchhhhhhhhhh for that heart warming comment....
    and i m sooooooooo glad to hear someone asking me not to change...thanks a lot dear...wish i could tell u how much it means...thanks for the acceptance and appreciation...i dont know if i have made any difference...but wonderful souls like u surely do and i am one example myself!
    thanks a tonnnnnn!
    luv ya!

  14. @arjun
    hieeee Arjun....
    what should i say to this now...????a thank you doesn't seem enough but probably that's all i can say...I m sooooo touched to read this one...but honestly i don't deserve all that praise...coz i m not that nice...really....but as i was saying it to priya also...that it is sooooooo over whelming to c that some people don't accept me to change and don't label me as emotional fool...thank u sooooooooo much arjun...u always leave me smiling but today seeing ur comment gave me strength n confidence...thanks a lot for it and another confession...
    and dont worry the changes wont come...n i know it since I have been forced to try since long but to no effect..but yes..i have become a little strong...:)
    thanks a lotttttt once again Arjun...thanks for being so supportive n kind always!
    take care!
    keep smiling!
    god bless!