In Search of the past days-6

Rahul was very happy today..it was like a new life...a new beginning..on his way he picked up some fresh orchids..Neha loved orchids and Rahul always use to take them along whenever he met Neha before marriage ..while buying them he was as nervous and excited as he was the day he proposed her and even today there was something happy inside and a little fear...a mix of emotions...a jigsaw of memories...all the way his thoughts were jumping from the past to the future...till he finally reached Ragini's apartment.

He settled himself..took a deep breath in and rang the door bell...after two minutes the house maid opened the door and let him in...as he stepped into the house..his eyes were madly looking for Neha...just then the maid got him a glass of water and told him that there is nobody at home..Rahul enquired from her"where is Neha???"...to which the maid replied"actually Neha
ma'am was not keeping well since 3-4 days..so Ragini ma'am has taken her to the hospital today..."..."what???"Rahul lost his smile immediately..."what happened to her??which hospital..."..."I don't know sir"the maid replied nervously..the bouquet of flowers fell from his hands...dialing Raginni's number,he ran towards his car...Raginni picked up his call.."hello".."Raginni...where are you??what happened to Neha???how is she????"...to which Ragini replied.."We are at the City Hospital...Neha had a severe migraine attack ...so I got here here...the doctors are checking..."..."I am coming.."...saying this he disconnected the call...In no time he reached the hospital ..making the necessary enquiries at the help desk...he rushed to see Neha..as he was hurrying through the corridors he collided with Ragini..."where were you guys?what happened...what are the doctors saying...how is she?????"...

[to be continued...]

Two Years of wonderful friendship!!

Yepppieeee...today is the 21st of September...a very special day for me..naaa..its not someones birthday..no anniversaries..no milestones..but the day when exactly two years back I met a stranger...whom i proudly call my best friend today..yes u made the right guess...your solitary writer,some call him ste...but I call him stibumama..a random scrap to a simple add request..would lead to such a strong friendship i had never thought..and today when i look back and reflect, it has been one awesome journey..when we turned from strangers to acquaintances then to Friends and then to the best of friends! Whenever i sit back and recall these two years they make me really nostalgic...since within them lie numerous memories of the days we endlessly chatted...about everything right from our college,to our friends,to our families,our childhood,our interests,our write -ups,our experiences...everything with a comfort of never being judged or scrutinised but being understood..but hang on..it wasn't all that smooth either..we have had our share of disagreements,arguments and fights as well...times when we gave each other a tough time..actually let me not hide ..i was the one who gave stibumama a tough time always..not that i am one bit apologetic for it today..as i consider myself really brave to not scum to his anger and his self criticism which i absolutely hate and off course his stubbornness to not to listen to me whenever I try to get something sensible into his head..before you get down to think how can your adorable solitary writer do all that...let me just tell you..the issues when i had to initiate world war 3 with him ...wait a second let me quote them for you here:- he says-

* "I am no good ya...not a good person...really...I hate myself"-now don't u think he needs to be whacked for this foolish statement that he gives me every now n then...so then i just do it!

* "I am deleting my blog...i don't think i can write anymore...nobody cares to read me now...its oki...doesn't really matter if it exists or not"-now tell me should i sit back at such statements n say"its okie beta go ahead"...or say it point blank that "dont u dare do it else i will kill you"

* "I am not going to come online...its alright one friend less from every one's friend list wont make a difference...2 days later no one would even remember me.."-now you only tell me which best friend will bear such nonsense..so that's when the argument begins..

ahmm...seeing his orkut profiles,seeing him coming online and seeing his beautiful blog intact..u obviously know who wins the arguments..heheh...yeah the first bit is still left...but mind you for humble people like him who dont realise their own worth..its a little difficult task...but then as if I am giving up..[ham honge kamyab ek din...!!]

We quarrel..we disagree..we irritate each other..that's because we are quite opposite each other..our thinking,choices,ways of responding to life don't match at all...but still we remain the best of friends because of the respect,acceptance and understanding we give each other..This one is more in favor of stibumama..because he has always given me the comfort and space of being myself..I can behave like the biggest fool on this planet in front of him but still not be embarrassed at all..and i have done that a lot many times..and that's when i have earned titles like"frog,darpok,stupid,Sonia Gandhi,mother Teressa,kid..etc.."well there are others very sweet ones also...since i don't deserve them i am not putting them down here..and honestly i like these ones!
and yes coming to one daily complaint that He has from me is that..I don't need to thank him or apologise to him for anything..still i keep doing it!and since I have picked up his stubbornness..i am not going to listen and do it officially here today..with reasons..so that he knows every time I say it I dont extend formality but I actually mean it! so Stibumama..

I really want to say a big thank you from the bottom of my heart for-
*always bringing a smile on my face when I least want to.

*for always listening to my boring lectures and instead of cribbing..saying a thank you!

*for always making me feel remembered and special!

*for acknowledging me for things I din't even do..but you still gladly give me the credit for them.

*for being ever so patient and sweet enough to answer my endless stupid questions..even though i repeat them a 100 times![slow learner you see]

*for accepting me the way I am..though I know it really gets irritating at times..coz thats when you say"you don't fit this century"..but then asking me not to change!

*for giving me the time and courage to overcome my fears and inhibitions. *for trusting me with your secrets.

*for inspiring me and encouraging me to do something I wanted to but never considered myself capable of[blogging]..for not only fulfilling this dream of mine but also for being supportive throughout!I am here coz of you!

*for listening,caring,helping for being there always...THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHH!

I can't reciprocate a percent of all that you have done for me..but can promise you one thing that whenever you need a friend I will always be there...for sure! Now coming to the things I need to apologise for..
so here's a heartfelt "sorry"-

*for all the times I have tested your patience..

*for all the times..i did not understand..

*for all the times I scolded you.

*for the times I refused to listen..

*for the times I have irritated you.. and off course for any thing I ever did that hurt you"I am really very sorry"n i know you will forgive me..so thank you:P


Well writing all this is like reliving all those wonderful moments of our friendship again..and today I feel blessed that I got an opportunity to be friends with an awesome person like you...there could be no better friend than you..and as i repeatedly say...you make a great human being,a fantastic friend,a superb writer..I consider myself lucky to have a Friend like you n i m extremely proud of you! always remain the adorable person that you are..as it is you cant improve perfection..but yes there are two little things that i really want you to change..ahmm one is your temper..waise my anger management lessons are working well for that..good progress there and secondly..pleaseeee...learn to realise your own value..you are one gem of a person and its high time now..better accept it..else be prepared for hundreds of more lectures in the upcoming years!

As we celebrate our friendship today..I sincerely pray that may the best of life come your way always and may all your dreams and wishes come true!and may god bless our friendship as well..and i just hope we stay the best of friends always!Thanks a ton for everything Stibu mama..your friendship is really precious to me and I shall treasure it always!You are simply the best my best friend!

Congratulations for the glorious completion of two years of our friendship..its been like a roller coaster ride..thanks a ton for tolerating me this long and all the best for the upcoming years as well...since I am going to give you a lot more nonsense! keep smiling always! my best wishes and prayers are always there with you! god bless you!

[p.s:-I'm really sorry for this lengthy post..but on this special day I did not want to let go off any opportunity to tell my best friend how important he and his friendship are to me..this one is for you stibumama...from your friend and disciple..hope u like it..]

Time for the 'Superior Scribbler Award'

Speechless...overwhelmed...pleasantly surprised and really touched...yes that was my reaction on receiving the Superior Scribbler Award ..from Arthi...I knew I could scribble..that is for sure...ahmmm..superior scribbler...that is like too much of an adjective for an amateur writer like me but sometimes we do get more than we deserve...so here I am with this award!Thank you sooooooooo much Artz...I am really honored and extremely happy to receive this one from you..When I saw my name mentioned in your blog with all that you had written..I was overjoyed...thanks a ton for considering me worthy of it and for being so encouraging and supportive!It really means a lot to me...thank uuu...:)

okie now coming to the rules of the award:

1. Each superior scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most deserving blogger friends.

2. Each superior scribbler must link to the author and the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

3. Each superior scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to this post which explains The Award.

4. Each blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to My Linky List.

5. Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.



It gives me immense pleasure to pass it onto:-

1.The Solitary Writer[stibu mama]-A wonderful blogger whose works I am reading long before I entered the world of blogging...I love the way he writes..in different genres and make each one seem perfect and professional!A power house of talent .. with a unique ability of bringing his characters to life!



2.Leo-He is a highly dedicated blogger..I simply adore his works...then whether its fiction,poetry,reality...anything for that matter...He uses different styles of writing and brings out the best in them..his words create magic and take you into a beautiful world of his imagination!



3.Arjun-Its easy to make people cry or get them serious on issues but its very difficult to make them laugh especially through words and this creative blogger is an expert in it!Humor is his forte but his talent is not limited to it...whatever he writes is a pleasure to read..his words evoke images and involve you in the plot completely.He always leaves his readers contented and smiling!



4.Roshini-what should I say about this young girl who is exceptionally talented..whenever I read her works I am always left speechless...such amazing expression at such a young age is commendable..she inspires me..and makes me want to learn things from her!



5.Kajal-an awesome blogger who has the honesty and guts to write her heart and mind out!Her words have depth,beauty,expression and above all reality!She has the art of using words..and an ability of giving a language to emotions..which make her incredible!



All you guys are exceptionally good...and I am very happy to have got an opportunity to honour you people!Great going guys..keep writing...keep inspiring...I will keep reading and keep learning...!


[p.s...did i begin with the word 'speechless'...ahmmm...now u don't have to take things by their literal meaning...if u do...then that's how i go speechless...hehehe]

In search of the past days-5

As he was flipping through the pages of the newspaper...he came across his weekly horoscope which said"you are going through a lot of turmoil in your personal life..a personal relationship demands immediate attention..do not be laid back ..since life does not give a second chance always.."...with this his eyes open wide he thought to himself..."what the hell is this suppose to mean..???is this astrologer spying on me??..or has this message just been published for me in specific?.."..."or is it God's way of telling me that i better do something before it gets too late..?"with this he closed his eyes...

Today began his search for the past days..memories of those beautiful moments spent with Neha were flashing in his mind one after the other..from the day he proposed..to the day the day of their wedding..then the two years they stayed together and off course the painful moment when Neha was leaving home..just then he opened his eyes and got up..as he was getting up...he saw an old lady waiting on one side of the road..and on the opposite side of the road was an old man eagerly trying really hard to overcome the hustle bustle and traffic of the road in order to reach her...once he reached he took her hand in his...and holding it tight he took her across the lane..Rahul carefully observed the old couple...who then walked down the lane hand in hand ...the wrinkles of their skin had not one bit lessened the love of their eyes and their care and concern...for each other..observing the old couple a sudden thought came to his mind.."why did I do it??why did I break my promise...I had held Neha 's hand forever and promised to walk with her through this journey of life then how did leave her alone in the middle and started moving ahead...this is not happening...I love her...I will cross this distance between us ...hold her hand ..this time forever ..and get her back into my life...yes...exactly what I will do..I want to grow old with her....I will not waste this second chance...why should I..after all I love her...yes....I love her ...." ..

He immediately went inside to get ready...all this while there was a constant smile on his face...he was imagining all that he would do once Neha gets back home with him .."Neha you were right I am a fool...I don't know what took me so long..to realize that for me life is you ..then how can I live without you...I promise there will be no complaints now..just love...like it was earlier...just get back once and i will never let go off you..."..these were the words he said out aloud before the mirror...and once he was ready...he dashed out of is house to get her back...

[to be continued]

The Freakin Fabulous Award

Yeppie...I am really elated and honoured to receive this wonderful award from the Solitary writer[gosh this is super formal..i am not liking it...so for me Stibu mama].I don't know if I deserve it but it is super special to me not just because its a lovely award but because I got it from the person because of whom I am here...thank you soooooooooo much Stibumama...this really means a lot to me!thanks a ton!I owe it all to you...thank you!



okie now coming to the formal procedure:- Rules of the Award:
* List five current obsessions.
* Pass the award on to five more fabulous blogs.
* On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.
* When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well.
* Don’t forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by leaving a comment on their blog.

5 obsessions would be:-
Reading:-when I was in school I used to hate reading but don't know when I developed a liking for it..today I am fond of reading everything write from the newspapers,to magazines to novels and now that I am here then I can proudly mention I enjoy reading the blogs of all you guys!

Blogging:-I never thought this would happen..really...initially i used to check my blog maybe once in 2-3 days..I used to prefer writing less and honestly dint even visit many blogs...but today I am kind of addicted to this place whenever I get an opportunity I am here..if not to post then to read and leave comments...!

Shopping:-That's quite common I guess...especially with girls and a pain for boys...but I really like it!

Nature walks:-I am really fond of going out for long walks..I live in a place which is famous for its scenic beauty...so I have to go out once in a day for sure until or unless I am really stuck with some urgent work or illness!

Music:-My day begins and ends with it....i always carry my headphones with me...it really keeps me going...love listening to it!

coming to the top five bloggers..well for me everyone here is simply fabulous...some have already been awarded...and here are the names of some more:-
1.Kajal
2.Nuchu
3.Priya joyce
4.Pinkzzz
5.Thoorika

[p.s:-thanks a lot stibumama...for not only giving me this award but also an opportunity to pass it onto all these fabulous writers...!]

In Search of the past days-4

Neha went to live with her sister Ragini who was working and living independently in the same town..she told Ragini everything..Ragini did not know what to say to her whether her decision was wrong or right but one thing that she was very clear about was that though Neha had made a tough decision..she was completely broken and shattered inside..and she was in need of a lot of care and support..Ragini hugged her and said.."Don't worry Neha everything will go fine..I am there with you"..

Rahul on the other hand was going through his own set of conflicts..everything just happened too early for him to realise or do anything..he was sitting absolutely motionless on the couch...and his face lacked an emotion..just then his cell phone rang..it took him two minutes to come out of his trance and receive the call.."Hello..hiee Rahul, Ragini here...".."oh hie..how are you?"..he replied....she said"Rahul actually Neha had asked me not to tell you saying that it did not matter anymore..but I thought I should let you know that she is here with me..so don't worry alright...".."hmmm...the thing is..."Ragini interrupted him and said"Rahul you don't need to explain things to me...I know everything..and I leave it to you guys..just wanted to inform you that Neha is with me and she is fine..you take care as well ..byee"..."okie thank you...bye"...saying this Rahul disconnected the call.

Ragini's call actually made him realise that Neha had gone...he thought to himself..."why did I let her go????"..."I should have stopped her...".."I cant live without her...how can she do this to me...she says she loves me..and knows very well that I love her too...then why??"...these thoughts broke him completely and his eyes were flooded with tears..after an emotional outburst that lasted almost an hour he got up had some water..went to his room...lay on his bed and fell asleep.... It was 6.30 a:m when the door bell woke him up...it was the milkman..he took the pack of milk...came inside...made a cup of tea and sat in the living room...today was his first morning without Neha since two years...everyday Neha would wake him up with a smile and a cup of tea...today he had the tea in his hand but Neha and her smile were missing..the loneliness of the house was slowly and slowly creeping into his heart,he was restless,irritated.disturbed.."why did she have to do that "he thought to himself...but this thought was not of grief but of anger..."well if she thinks she can live alone...then so can i...when she doesn't feel the need to carry on then even I won't beg her to return..she will regret her decision and will come back to me on her own...when she will realise that some things are easier said than done...she will come back..."...he thought over and over again...and gave himself a reassurance.."yes...she loves me...she can't possibly stay away she will come back..."...after several attempts of self justification..he managed to reduce his dissonance a bit..and when he felt a control over himself ... he got ready and left for work..

Throughout the day he made a sincere effort to keep himself distracted so that he does not think about her..and kept assuring himself that he is right and that she will come back on her own in a day or two...every time his cellphone rang he expected her call...but when he saw some other name flashing on the screen...all his hopes would crash in a second...He carried on like this for the 5 days..every morning he used to get up creating a strong front thinking to himself"that he is doing fine...without her..and she will come back realising her mistake.."..and every night he used to go to bed disappointed and upset..With each passing day his hope of her coming back faded.. Today is Sunday...Rahul..got up...piked up the newspaper and sat down with a cup of tea in the balcony...

[to be continued....]

In Search of the past days-3

..Neha opened the door..Rahul entered in..without even looking at her he threw his bag on the couch..and said.."hey I was expecting a courier to reach..did it???"...Neha gave him a firm look and said point blank "No!"..Her blatant response agitated Rahul and he said "Oh common Neha..I come home tired from the days work and instead of welcoming me with a smile you are standing here with a frown...whats wrong with you.."..this infuriated Neha even more..and she said"whats wrong with me???????where do you manage to get all that courage to make those complaints from and raise a finger at me..when you yourself don't have the time to receive my calls also..not even realising that maybe there some urgency...do you even remember the last time you called up yourself to ask me how am i??".."Oh god...what is there to ask ya...we live in the same house..what are you expecting that in midst of meetings and work I will call you up for a chit chat.."..Rahul said.

Neha took a deep breath in and then said"Listen rahul..even I work...still whenever I get an opportunity I call you up..not because its a duty...but because you matter to me..but fine leave this aside...what happens when you come back home..then you are free...right...free to watch t.v,go to the club...to surf the Internet..you have that time and I agree its you personal time..but still two minutes of care or two words of affection are too much to ask for...is it???...everyday I wait for you to return..you come..carry out a formal conversation with me and carry on with your routine..I feel like I am invisible to you...it surprises me like hell that are you the same man who called up every now and then just to feel my presence in your life????"..with this she sat down on the sofa and started crying..

Rahul raised his voice again and reacted by saying .."Damn it.. why don't you get it ..I haven't changed...our life has...earlier we were not living together...but now we are...you can't expect things to be the same Neha..I can't be all that lovey duvey all the time....I have a life of my own also...you need to give me that space...please...I love you and you know that..[his tone became softer]...don't make an issue out of this..."

His words pierced through her heart...her tears were not stopping..but she gathered her strength ,stood up and said..."fine you want space...you shall get it now..I am leaving...probably you need a break from me...and you shall have it..earlier I thought that rather than living like this I should end this relationship but since it matters to me the most and I don't want any second thoughts later I want to give it one last chance..and also because as you said "I know that you love me"...but I can't feel it anymore ..I can give you space but not lead a blank life...you live with your space and time and if that's how you want your life to be...then we will part ways forever. Rahul if living together gave people the liberty to take their loved ones for granted..or treat them like trash then nobody would ever want to live together...today I create this distance between the two of us if you plan to travel through it to reach me then you will have to return to me as the Rahul I had fallen in love with and if not then I would rather live with the sweet memories.. of my past than with broken dreams of the future...now we will only live together if you feel the need of a companion,of your love and not a kitchen maid or a care taker of your house..you will know how its living with me and without me..make your choice..and so will I...till then goodbye.."..

"Neha you cant be serious"Rahul said in amazement.."I am ..sadly the problem is you never took me seriously.."..she started packing her luggage and making a few calls.."You can't leave me....alone..like this...".."Rahul at least its better than living alone.. when the person you love is right beside you...anyways you take care...bye..".and with tears still profusely flowing out of her eyes she left her home...

[to be continued]

In Search of the past days-2

"Neha..I know what you mean to say but I cant begin to tell you how happy I am to hear all of this from you and that's because what you perceived from my actions is exactly what i wanted to convey...you are very special to me and I don't want to miss any opportunity to tell you that I love you!and as far as calls are concerned its my way of staying close to you ..even when we are apart...to know that you are fine..keeps me tension free..and Ma'am i promise you one thing...I will always trouble and bother you the same way... whether you like it or not...so get use to it..because time might change but my love and concern wont"

..Today Neha and rahul have been married for two years..its yet another evening...same cafe..but today Neha is sitting here alone...recalling the day when Rahul had promised her that nothing is going to change his love for her.. Neha's eyes which had dreams,affection and tears of happiness were sheltering pain,loneliness and a search of the past days..a numerous questions were running across her mind...

"where did all the care and concern go?".."is he the same man who said i was special to him?".."someone who had the world's time to talk to me irrespective of a hectic schedule???"..."have I changed?".."has he changed?".."am I expecting too much????"..."God...."she covered her face with her hands...was motionless for a while then she raised her head..wiped her tears and said to herself"I want my answers...I am not carrying on like this...I married for love...Not to be taken for granted..or to be a show piece in his house..I did not marry him for 3 months I married him to grow old with him...I know ..I know I can't expect him to be like a teenage boy friend now but at least like a friend...a companion..being in a marriage if I have to be lonely only then I might as well be alone...this is it..."...she got up and rushed back home!
It was 8 at night..the door bell rang..Neha opened the door..Rahul entered in.

[to be continued...]