Monday, June 29, 2009

The Proposal-3

Both of them reached the cafeteria of the college..where the rest of the gang and Riya..were busy discussing vacation plans...the moment they stepped in, all eyes turned..everybody was stunned to see Sameer..but everybody except Riya knew the reason behind this sudden makeover..and as expected Riya who was both surprised and shocked.. screamed out loud.."whats wrong with you???first the phone call and now this??"..."I'm sure something is fishy...what is it????"..."ahmmm...na..I'm mean nothing...just like that...actually..."..he tried hard but couldn't get himself to say it..."what??wait you sit...I will get you something to drink...and then tell me what's going on.."she got up and headed towards the counter..Sameer heaved a sigh of relief"whewww...its difficult guys..."he said to all his friends..just then one of them said"Listen dude...its now or never...just say it the moment she comes back..we are all there with you...don't get nervous..".. As Riya returned with a can of juice..she saw..Sameer kneeling down..and all eyes on her full of expectations..she got confused..n said,"Now what guys????"...breaking the silence..with his eyes closed Sameer finally said.."Riya..its been five long years since we've been friends,we've faught,we've cried,we've laughed together,I know I am an idiot..and maybe nowhere close to the perfect man of your dreams...but I promise you one thing I will always keep you happy because tears in your eyes make my heart ache..I can't imagine myself without you..I don't know when and how this happened...but I realised it the day I saw u dancing with somebody else on the prom nite...I couldn't take it...it was like seeing my world in somebody Else's arms..I couldn't sleep for days together..was fighting with myself day and night to figure out..what was wrong with me..why am I feeling bad if my friend is getting close to someone...but now I know..I know its was my love for you...I don't know when you became more than a friend to me...but now life seems to be incomplete without you...when you are not around I miss you..my happiness loses its meaning when i don't share it with you..my pain becomes double when I know you are not beside me to comfort me...I Hate that deficit.. I want to be with u always..and promise to love you as long as my life permits..so ma'am[extends his hand towards her....with his eyes still closed]...can I have the pleasure of your company forever??"
Riya...was speechless...she stood there motionless for two minutes..Sameer opened his eyes and smiled at her..but his smile disappeared in a second when he saw tears running down her cheeks...He got up...took a step forward towards her..there eyes met..Riya..wanted to say something..but was over powered by emotions..n as Sameer came one more step close to her...she just ran out of the cafeteria.. everybody was confused...they were all looking at Sameer..and started moving out following Riya..But Sameer stopped everybody...and ran out himself ...to see what the matter was... He looked for her here and there and at last found her sitting on a bench under the shade of a tree...with her head down..and with tears flowing out of her eyes...he went up to her and said..."there u are...cross country runner...[smiles..but realises soon that it was not the time to be funny]..."...she was still looking down...and did not speak a word.. Sameer...went down on his knees again...wiped off her tears ...took her hand in his and said...

[p.s:..firstly thank u soooooo muchhh friends for appreciating my work and being so supportive,encouraging and patient with me..this is the first time..I'm writing fiction..n i think by now seeing the length of the comments i post on ur blogs..u must have inferred that i really get carried away once i get down to write..sooo sorrryyyy for stretching this one so badly..n thank u soooo for being so patient...will definitely try to wrap it up next time...till then...to be continued:p......n i don't mind being beaten up...u can drop a few slaps along with ur comments if u want to.. thank u sooooooooo much once again...all u guys are amazing...god bless]

18 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 29, 2009

    aaila...
    slaps?? :D all i'm gonna write is praise! :D
    this story is simple and is goin places...

    other than a few spelling errors here and there, i found nothing to criticize in the plot of the story...

    continue the good work! :)

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  2. Arey khatam kar na :( itna suspense health ke liye acha nahi hain :)

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  3. oh god....fir se continued...maar khaogi paroo...mad ...frog....ullu...stupid...idiot......

    achhi ban rahi hai story till nw....

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  4. AnonymousJune 30, 2009

    Said what??????

    Hmmm :(

    Waiting for the next part!! ...impatiently

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  5. awww :)

    i soo love mushy stuff...and this one was super sweet! :)


    and thanks a ton for your beautiful comment on Vinays blog where i did the guest post! :)

    do visit my blog sometime :)

    cheerio!

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  6. i would repeat my comment from the first part....

    Brilliant detailing .. which makes it interesting... :)

    Atleast i dint feel its dragged.. becos some deep feelings like these will lose the effect when it's incomplete... in this post of urs u've added the much important wings which could make the body fly... sry if that sounded silly .. :P

    And, in a fiction... simple thing is- U put the reader into the scene.. into the character... into the emotions.. into the actions... :) U've quite done that..

    Anyway.. see i too get carried away... hehe..

    Cheers..!!
    Arjun

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  7. hey bhagwaan iss ladki ka mei kya karu...m curious..

    i loved tha way he proposed :) btw

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  8. AnonymousJuly 04, 2009

    hey....... plz continue it soon naa..
    don't stretch it anymore..

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  9. Hey Parzi
    I've commented about this post in your previous one.Realized it now.Pls check it out In The Proposal-2

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  10. @leo..
    thank u soooooooo muchhhh...4 appreciating it..and being so kind...oops sorry for the spelling mistakes...will try to be careful the next time...
    hope u like the next part...as well..
    thanks a ton
    god bless

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  11. @thoorika...
    hahahah...sooorrrrry for testing ur patience...loji khatam kardia...now tell me hows it??

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  12. @stibumama..
    thank uuuuuuuuuuuu...sorry yar...as always got carried away while writing...but ab finally khatam kar di...wont irritate u people more....
    thank uuuuu!

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  13. @phoenix...
    hiee...so nice to see u here...
    thank u soooooo muchhh for liking it.hope u like the end...well...ur work was fabulous...did visit your blog...n will keep visiting now..
    thanks once again
    god bless!

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  14. @princess nuchu
    well now u know said what????
    hahaha...suspence over...tell me if u liked it or not...

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  15. @arjun..
    yet again...thank u sooooooo muchhhhh for being so kind and encouraging and for liking what i wrote..hope i don't disappoint u with the ending...
    thanks a ton....as always a sweet and kind feedback..thank u...
    u gt carried away as well...so i can be sure atleast u wont beat me up for stretching this..hahaha...thank u!

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  16. @priya
    hieee....sorry yar..bas bas khatam kar diya...go have a look....
    glad you liked the proposing part...coz it was the most imp bit since its the proposal..
    thanks for being so patient...sorry for the delay!

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  17. @pinkzzz...
    well not stretching it anymore...go read the next n final part n tell me if u liked it or not..

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  18. @abhilasha
    i'm sooo glad u liked it dear...thanks for following it...
    well i think u wont be disappointed to see the end.....well as for sameer...sadly a fictional character...had been someone in real..would surely fix u up with him...hahaha...if sometime I come across somebody like him...will surely let you know sweetheart...
    keep smiling
    god bless!

    ReplyDelete